The Bikes
The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.
It seems in some ways like a kind of Stockholm Syndrome, the way we honor our machines. We love them to a point that lies well beyond obsession. Upon these machines upon we endure endless suffering, but also find an unending pleasure. The rhythm, the harmony between rider and machine, the outdoors, the wind in our faces and air in our lungs.
The Bikes is devoted entirely to our machines. Ours, The Keepers, and yours, the Community. It features articles devoted to our bikes, and proves a forum for uploading photos of your own machines for discussion. We will be harsh, but fair; this is a place to enforce and enhance our observation of The Rules.
If you’d like to submit an article about your own beloved bike, please feel free to send it to us and we’ll do our best to work with you to include it.
- Rule #12 and the Cascade Effect
That is a very reasonable opening salvo for the Rule about bike ownership. Three is good and certainly a minimum, and we are talking road bikes here, if there was any doubt. They naturally become ordered: the #1 is ichi-ban, top dog, go-to bike for every and all rides. #2 was the old #1, ... - Guest Article: Black Is Not The New Black@kogalover is singing my song here. Bikes are beautiful. ’nuff said. VLVV, Gianni With all those posts on riding in winter and being visible, either by putting Eyes of Sauron or other car melting devices on one’s steed, or by even considering a YJA instead of donning plain black kit, it was about time to finally get ...
- Dialing in the StableThis was going to be an article about Rule #45. It is amazing how much time is wasted and matches burned when professionals stop for that second bike change to get back on their #1. With all the jigs available to team mechanics it would seem they could set up five bikes exactly the same. And ...
- Matching the drapes to the rugAs a longtime titanium bike owner, I’ve always been jealous of a beautiful painted frame but Ti and carbon frames don’t need paint like a steel frame needs paint. But I want some painted beauty. It’s like buying a white car; I can’t do white, need some color. So between a Ti frame and a ...
- Festum Prophetae: Waiting for the HourEveryone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. – Mike Tyson The one thing everyone should always plan for is that however well-conceived a program might be, things will never go to plan. The high level plan for my Festum Prophetae Hour Ride was as follows: Have a custom Hour Bike built by Don Walker. Because reasons. Reasons like custom ...
And now for something completely different, here’s a couple of the Sacred Decals on my Look…
@Jeff in PetroMetro
I had one of those American Classic Cages!
Super light. Great design.
Had a Super Record headset as well. My friends and I used to joke about the ‘Indexed Steering’.
@mouse
Yep. The early wind trainers, where one took the front wheel out and attached the bike by the fork blades, was total hell on headsets. Didn’t matter what the headset was made of. But the Super Records suffered the worst of all.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Sweet Jeebus that’s a bike & a half…
To take the music metaphor even further, I can’t help but think that there’s no way the next (or next again) generation will look back on the bikes now with anything like the nostalgia & reverence that exists now…
And yes I’m happy to fill the thread with the quote of Jeff’s post, purely to show that bike once more.
Ok – I’m going to have a bit of a cry and a moan and I know that I need to harden the fuck up. I’ve been posting a lot over the last three days because I’ve done something truly horrible to my back and I can barely walk down from my office to make a cup of tea. Its some sort of muscle spasm in my lower back and if I were in the dojo I’d be tapping out with this pain. Can’t even face trying to put my bibs on let alone ride a bike.
Thanks for the laughs and the pictures – its keeping me going – well that and horse tranquillisers. You’ll know I’m cured when I shut up because I’ll be out on the bike.
@mouse
I still have one or two of the old American Classic cages sitting in a box somewhere in my attic. Years ago, I liked them a lot until one race over really rough tarmac caused the mounting screws to rattle loose, and a cage with a full bidon dropped onto my bottom bracket. The next 30 seconds were a bit exciting as I tried to fish my bidon and cage out from the bottom of my frame while maintaining a straight line in a group.
Soon after that, I decided to opt for a design that offered a bit more mounting integrity.
What have I wrought?
Most of the people at my work know that I race and have nice bikes so they always come up to me and ask about bikes and racing. The CEO told me he was going to start riding to work – I’m REALLY, REALLY disappointed in him. Especially considering that he’s a big time mountaineering guy and a super “tech weenie” in that regards. Anyway, here’s his ride…
@Cyclops
I hear you. The protective plastic tip on the kickstand is really just too much.
@Cyclops
Solution: take him to a real bike shop and try to show him the way.
Sort of in the same vein, I have some acquaintances/friends who are fairly serious runners and do multiple of half and full marathons each year. One of them is starting to get into cycling, so when she started asking me questions about where to get a bike in Portland, what to look for, etc. I offered up a bunch of suggestions.
She wound up getting what she called a “Quanta Roo Tri Bike” which in my mind meant something awful with areobars and extra bottle cages behind the saddle.
Thankfully she posted a picture on Facebook, and it looks just like a standard road bike with drop bars and a compact double chainring. She said she bought clipless pedals with it, and will be putting those on when she gets comfortable with the bike.
I’m trying to be very supportive from a distance and show her the way of Merckx without her knowing what is going on. If she takes to cycling like she did with running, she’ll be good at it. And she’s tiny, so she’ll climb like nobody’s business if she puts her mind to being good at it.
@Cyclops
I’m really not sure what to say about that bicycle, but I’d have to agree with @mcsqueak‘s statement.
Although, if I were a casual rider, that bike might be a sufficient commutermobile.
@Xyverz
Yeah, sometimes I have to remind myself what I do and what “we” do here (Velominati) is different than how a lot of people approach “bike riding”. That being said, I’d rather have a bunch of people riding around old cruisers with fat seats and flat pedals than barreling down the street in their SUV.
@the Engine
Sounds like a slipped disc, which is no fun. I wish I could help but if you’ve done it before you probably know the drill, if not I recommend going to see a sports physio. I found that once I knew what was happening it was and is easier to take preventative measures and my recovery times are much shorter, allowing more time on the bike which definitely keeps things in much better condition.
@Cyclops
Patience, Cyclops. It may take time for your boss to come to understand his inner velominatism.
@mcsqueak
A-Merckx to that, sir!
@Nate
Hear hear!
@the Engine
Have you seen the Rapha Assynt film, as mentioned by @wiscot on another post? It’s on Bianchista at the moment, and it shows Scottish summer riding at its best.
Another beautiful part of Scotland (a bit north of where you live, I presume?). Take some rest, and I’m sure you’ll be back stronger than ever.
Question and advice please, fellow Velominati. A pal of mine wants to know he best gizmo to hold his smart phone on his bike stem/bars. Suggestions/recommendations? Thanks.
@Cyclops
I love the mirror!
It’s like the kind you strap to you your RV.
All that’s missing is the swivelling captains chair…
@wiscot
My only advice would be don’t do it — looks terrible.
@Bianchi Denti
Thanks – I am far enough north to have crap broadband so I’ll try and watch this tomorrow when the kids who share my line have stopped playing World of Warcraft or whatever it is they do.
I did a sportive up there last October and I’ve walked over it a few times too – magnificent country. If you haven’t been – go.
@snoov
I’ve been well prodded and I’m pretty sure it’s a bursa – proper cycling injury. You don’t want one – breathtakingly painful and I I didn’t work for myself I’d have called in sick this week. Please tell me this heals quickly.
@wiscot
Wahoo makes a decent holster for the iPhone that comes with a built-in Ant+ receiver – good for using with Strava, etc. You can find it at their website: Wahoo Fitness
@wiscot
Recommend no extra gizmo. Smart phone (gizmo) versus Smaller phone (jersey pocket).
@wiscot
Yeah, I think that would deffo be against all that is good and holy.
If he’s going to do that, suggest he go all the way and mount some speakers up there as well.
Phone in the jersey pocket is the way to go IMO.
Suggest that you’re not likely to get a constructive answer to your question, well from me anyway…
Got a new Nr01 bike in the stable , very pleased to say it my first bike with a true gruppo
on a other note:
Flew over my handlebars while bigringing it last wednsday (8days ago)
The brunt of the hit went to my right shoulderblade and spine next to it, rightside hip bone and rightside leg ; lots or road rash but thats fine
but now 8 days later , if i have to cough/laugh/or other big lung movements it still hurts like a mofo; basic movement is ok but some movements absolutely not
at what point should i see a doc , have a xray ? i figuered out id give it about 10 days , let the swelling and bruising go
@Belgian Cobblestones
Glad you’re OK! I bet you just have a bruised rib or two, but I’m no doctor.
However…
How’s the bike?
the bike is actually really fine considering what it went thru.
Nothing beyond repair exept a chip of paint on the non driveside chainstay but i consider that battlescars, every bike needs some…
Busted up handlebars my beloved rotundos, Fizik saddle torn to shreds and derailleur of the gruppo-san that went thru the rear wheel
@Belgian Cobblestones
Man, that’s a bummer but could have been much worse… heal up! And get yourself to a doctor, just in case.
@Cyclops
I’ll be honest, if I could expand my stable even further, one of these would be in my near future:
I’d love to have me a Swedish bike. I’d be later getting to work choosing between this and my current singlespeed. And this would be great for groceries and runabout town errands. Hell: a bike is always better than a car.
@Belgian Cobblestones
Not a bad idea to at least get a chest x ray to make sure that you do not have a small pneumothorax or a hairline fracture somewhere. Most likely just bruised and it will take some time but i would get checked out if i were you.
Hi guys I’m new here so I hope I’m not overstepping since my opinion is unsolicited, but I am a chiropractor and see stuff like this often.
@the Engine: you asked about the bursa healing timeline. With rest the pain should decrease in a few days but typically isn’t considered resolved for 2-6 wks. Ice helps.
@ Belgian cobbles, Buck is right you need an examination. Many times when you hear symptoms like yours the rib cartilage is injured. This will heal on its own but slowly due to cartilage having a limited blood supply. Typically 8-12 wks to heal.
Obviously this is all conjecture and a real exam is needed. I wish you both luck. Now back to bikes.
@graham d.m.
Nice advice, thanks for the input. When I saw that first line in the comments side bar, I had a hunch you’d be more welcome here than at slam that stem, which is where I thought this was going.
@minion
Hey even though I’m a chiropractor you’ve gotta keep it Rule #45 compliant!
I love seeing pics of amateurs with slammed stems, obviously I’m not gonna tell pros what to do, but they tend to look a truckload better. Rounded shoulders, rounded backs, arms locked dead straight to rest on the hoods.
@Cyclops
I have a hunch your buddy might be on the path to enlightenment – we can’t judge people too harshly by their first steps. Some of the bikes I cycle couriered on, jeeeez. For a while the trend was for too small MTB frames, superlong seatposts, road cranks and a 8 speed cassette with super chopped bars. With brakes, shifters, lights, all that shit.
And did you hear that Marcus used to be a triathlete?
@wiscot
Tell him to keep his phone, his ID, his insurance card, his house key, and a credit card in a plastic ziplock bag in his right pocket of his jersey. Oh, and tell him to buy a Road ID bracelet.
“Hey JiPM, you are so specific about where to keep all of these things. How come?”
Well, I’m glad you asked. If the bike is stolen while you’re in the Circle K gas station buying a strawberry whoopie pie and a Mountain Dew, and the phone is on the bike, that’s probably gonna suck a lot more than if you have your phone with you. Same if you crash and your phone goes skittering off down the road and you don’t see where it went while you’re trying to figure out what body parts will need immediate medical attention.
Why the right pocket you ask? For some reason, cyclists tend to crash more on their left sides. Of course all of us have crashed on our right sides, but I read somewhere that, statistically, we (cyclists) prefer falling to the left.
That’s all I got.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Can’t top that! Can’t top it! Strawberry whoopie pie!
@Jeff in PetroMetro
The whoopie pie goes in the left pocket, against the possibility of crashing on that side.
@minion
Why do you love amateur’s mistakes? So you can make fun of them?
So here we go… amateur cyclists… those who are mimicking pros and who are attempting do the same thing as the pros because that’s what they see on [whatever channel shows bike racing these days].
These same cyclists may have a problem with back/knee/neck issues, and they may post some concerns on this site. Then members like you deride them so that all you old fucker/posters on here fall back on Rule V, and make a new rider feel like shit because they aren’t manning up? Bullshit.
I may not be in the exalted order of the upper echelons of the Keepers persective, but anyone with any riding experience can affirm that at some point you have to man up fucking drive on.
@Belgian Cobblestones
8 days after an accident, if your ribs are still sore but you are still breathing it means your lung aint punctured but your ribs are either busted/bruised. I would go with bruised as your pain doesn’t seem as though it has been dialled to 11.
Either way, they will heal on their own – no treatment necessary and the treatment is the same either way – nothing. Dont bother seeing a doc unless you feel like talking about yourself for a while. Rule of thumb whilst the bruising is healing – if you do an activity that hurts your ribs, try to avoid/minimise it. Feeling/pushing the pain won’t make the bruising heal any quicker. And because it feels way worse than say a bruise on your leg or arm doesnt mean it isn’t just bruising. Bruised ribs hurt like a mofo – but they do get better on their own.
@Nate
Oooooh. Hadn’t thought of that. It’s a snack, and it’s an airbag.
Reminds me of Shimmer Floor Wax.
@niksch
Aw, don’t be too hard on poor Minion. He is suffering through life (if you can call it that) in Canberra. While I’ve never been there, I have on good authority that it’s a right lousy place to be – at least according to anonymous Internet Australians.
@niksch
FFS chill out. I meant people who fashion slam their stems then look like they’re incredibly uncomfortable riding their bikes, the amateurs I referred to are amateur racers, who are responsible for their own setup. I’ve got no idea what physiological issues are improved by riding with a severely rounded back, rolled forward shoulders or locked elbows, or if it improves the handling of the bike or hurts it. If I’ve hurt anyone’s feelings frankly I couldn’t give two thirds of a flying fuck.
@mcsqueak
Yep Canberra’s fucking fucked that for sure. I’d give myself a series of uppercuts before I even thought about fucking retiring to this place.
@graham d.m.
Thanks old chap – the pain is astonishing. I’m off to the doctor this morning to ask for some industrial strength pain killers. At least I know that this will get better.
@the Engine
A quote from Jens which you would probably agree with (from the current Tour of Luxembourg, via Cycling News).
“Voigt meanwhile, relished the effect his escape had on the peloton.
… “Like I always say: ‘It’s better to be on the giving end of pain rather than on the receiving end’.”
It’s even better if you read it in your head with a German accent.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Brilliant. You need to pop over to RBR and add that to the “Why I need to hang a suitcase off the back of my bike to carry loads of irrelevant shit” post.
@ChrisO
Quite so.
Doctor now says that it’s probably a trapped nerve and has prescribed proper drugs. Downside is that I’m likely off the bike for a while. What am I going to do?
@the Engine
I’ve had an entrapped nerve. Ouch. They can be released. A good chiro/ART specialist might be able to.
@girl
I’m trying to get set up with a physio who knows what he’s doing. My inner Jens wants to get out on the bike but my outer wuss (and VMH) suggest that this may be a few weeks off.
@the Engine
No sense in hurting yourself further. Rule #5 is fuck-all if you’re incapacitated or disabled.