Velominati Super Prestige: Ronde van Vlaanderen
Ok, ok, settle down now people. Take your seats please. You’re all a little bit on edge, like some cycling Gamblers Anonymous group that’s been let out for the weekend with a pocket full of bills and the name of the nearest bookie. But in your excitement, you managed to crash our server, delaying the fix you so desperately crave.
But wait no more. You’ve warmed up on the gateway races, now it’s time for the hard stuff, as grimy, rough and unadulterated as the roads of Flanders themselves.
You see, there’s this bloke I know who knows a bloke, hangs around the Velominati bike sheds, seems to know a bit about the racing game. Reckons he’s got a sure bet for the weekend. A cert. A dead-set shoo-in. Number 1 in Race 3 of the VSP at Flanders. Fella reckons you could put your left one on it. Absolutely Faboolous or something he’s called. He’s got form (and, judging by the way he shelled the nags on last week’s card, possibly a motor). But word is there could be a late plunge on the other fella, Boom Boom Boy, so maybe a bob each way might be the way to go. I’d watch out for those not-so-roughies though, the likes of Gilbert, Devolder, Ballan and Thor will be waiting to pick up any leftover chaff and could steal away the win, leaving you as frustrated as a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest.
So what’s it gonna be then? Take the sure thing, or the other sure thing, or throw a dart at the board and hope it sticks? It’s time to study the form guide, search the dark recesses of your soul, throw out any logic, and pencil in your picks on the ticket provided at the bottom of the comments. Whether you’re canny, savvy or just plain tinny, the coveted Obey The Rules bumper sticker is waiting. Is your bumper worthy?
The only thing for certain is that bicycle racing will be the winner on the day.
Don’t worry, got it… God of Thunder!
VSP PICKS:
1. Flecha
2. Cancellara
3. Sagan
4. Haussler
5. Gilbert
@Nathan Edwards
Yes you are taking a gamble. Tomeke barely won that sprint last week, he will have nobody leading his ass out this week.
@Netraam
Rob didn’t get that green jersey by not making the bold choices. Yes, 4th and 5th, it will be awesome.
VSP PICKS:
1. Spartacus
2. Chavanel
3. Gilbert
4. Boonen
5. Van Summeren
VSP PICKS:
1. Stijnlager
2. Boonen
3. Giblets
4. Motorcus
5. Heiny
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Gilbert
4. Haussler
5. Hushovd
@all
@G’rilla and I suffered like pigs on the route, but we mapped out a great bit. We’ve got something like 5 or 6 significant climbs with something like 15 sectors of the roughest cobbles on the steepest hills that Seattle has to offer. (Some climbs have 2 or 3 sectors of cobbles, separated by a short section of pavement in case you’re wondering about the math.)
Route recon done, sufferfest ready and loaded. Hope to see you there – remember: SpeedyReedy at 10am sharp. Here’s the route.
The only problem with the recon is that now we have to do it again tomorrow. Good thing I’ve got a fridge full of EPO and a steak full of clenbuterol.
I’m going with my gut here…I really think the Bonedoggle (“Boonen” is pronounced “Bone-en” in Flemmish) has the drive this year…sure, he’s no match against the Faboo-lous Cancellara, but he’s not going to figure in every race every time…thank Merckx bike races are more complicated than that. I’m betting Flecha and Hoste are there as well, and it’s going to be a fucking bloodbath: 5 animals in a gallop to the finish.
VSP PICKS:
1. Boonen
2. Flecha
3. HIncapie
4. Faboo
5. Hoste
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Sagan
3. Boonen
4. Hushovd
5. Devolder
OK…based on the premise that it will be a five-up sprint, I suppose I should put Flecha in 5th, but…
VSP PICKS:
1. cancellara
2. boonen
3. haussler
4. gilbert
5. leukemans
@frank
oh yea of little faith.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Hushovd
4. Gilbert
5. Flecha
VSP PICKS:
1. Flecha
2. Ballan
3. Gilbert
4. Hincapie
5. Thor
There are literally dozens of picks that could fit into a top 5! I think it gets so hyper-focused on not letting Cancellara get away that a small group comes to the finish and Flecah finally gets his trophee…but I really wish Develoder pulls another magical ride!
VSP PICKS:
1. Flecha
2. Boonen
3. Cancellara
4. Ballan
5. Devolder
Woah, if you haven’t already, check at steephill. They have one photo of Lampre + amateurs en route on the Koppenberg. The guy who ain’t PRO, broke a hip. But ehhh, he didn’t have a heart attack!
Leave it to the PROS, lads, leave it…
VSP PICKS:
1. Boonen
2. Ballan
3. Cancellara
4. Gilbert
5. Pozzato
Well fuck @ Frank – that ride you posted looks Faboo.lous!
Damn, must be fun to ride that loop around the lake, up the cobbles, mixing lake views, some jazz of riding in city traffic, and the climbs.
I’d demand to borrow your bicycle on my next visit to Seattle, but you happen to be a Dutch Monkey, one 16 cms taller than me.
Oh well, I can dream. Which Follower living in Seattle rides a 53 they’ll consider letting me test ride on Frank’s route? I need to give this route a ride.
@Ron
My Velomihottie has three different 53’s…take your pick between steel, alu, or carbon…on second thought, she’ll never let you ride the R3-SL, but you can choose between the others…
OK, let’s try this again! Thanks to Frank for the VSP issue trouble-shooting.
VSP PICKS:
1. The Wenatchee Kid
2. Cancellara
3. The God of Thunder
4. Thanks Manx
5. Boomshakalaka
Forgot to mention…Brouwers has agreed to air RVV when it airs on Versus tomorrow…I’ll be there, if you care to join me.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Gilbert
3. Boonen
4. Flecha
5. Hincapie
VSP PICKS:
1. Sparticus
2. Matty “Harley” Goss
3. The Hussler
4. Giblet (Gilbert)
5. Boom Boom Boonen
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Sweet! Does it mean I get a red number for tomorrow’s stage?
Right, Sporza is on the radio. Chips are ready to be cooked, mayo* is in the fridge. Now I’m off shopping for ryebread, rubber cheese and Belgian beer.
*Mayo is fucking disgusting and there is no way on earth I would have it on chips.
VSP PICKS:
1. Philleeeeppe
2. SMASH
3. Boner
4. @f_cancellara
5. St David
VSP PICKS:
1. cankles
2. the chav
3. hausslerhoff
4. farrar
5. tomeke
@jarvis
Ok, who is smash and st.david?
@Brett
you need to read Toto more. Thor & Miller
VSP PICKS:
1. Philleeeeppe
2. SMASH
3. Boner
4. @f_cancellara
5. St David
Damn that VSP pick form. Anyway, look for strong rides from Sky’s Stannard and Thomas. They are going to be big players in the classics in the future and they’ll be up there towards the end today. Reckon Thomas might even get a Top-10. Esp now Hunt is in the break, they won’t have to do anything
VSP PICKS:
1. Philleeeeppe
2. SMASH
3. Boner
4. @f_cancellara
5. St David
Fuuuuuuck spartacus!
Did you see that at 40km? Who said he isnt a smart rider?
And made Tom look like a fool, frankly.
I can’t believe Chav is holding that wheel!
How is it that the bunch comes together, and the gap opens up more?
@frank
Agree. Sylvain is a hero.
Fab vs the entire BMC team. Good odds, anyone’s game.
Garmin is making a no show in this race. what happened to H2?
They’re coming back!
No!!!!
Gilbert is becoming one of my favorites in a big hurry. Group: Whatever shall we do? Gilbert: To the fucking front and ride, obviously.
What a race!
Is that Vacansolei rider Leukemans? The commenters are sure but I can’t tell for sure…
Admittedly, fab managed to stay looking pretty tranquil while phil was turning himself inside out.
Huge.
Gilbert!!
Faboo is climbing like a stone now…
Cyclingnews reckon it’s bjorn
We’ve got a new Boss of the Bosberg!
Monstrous.
FUCKING BRILLIANT!!! I LOVE Eurosport live feed!!!
Its not over yet.
Gilbert looks to me like he is beginning to pedal squares. Man, I hope he makes it!