In Memoriam: Olympic Tandem Match Sprint
The Olympic track racing fires off tomorrow and it’s time to remember an event discarded to the bin of noble sports.
The Olympic roster of events is constantly evolving and devolving which is why we are now watching synchronized diving as an Olympic sport. What a world, what a world. Maybe it’s a sign of me getting too old but it makes me sick. Who does this sport? Who says let’s go down to the public pool and work on our synchronized diving? No one, that’s who. Did the IOC get bribed by Big Diving? Diving is barely watchable, adding another diver who does the exact same thing adds little. Yes, I’m biased, yes, I don’t understand it. Send your hate mail to Condoleezza Rice, c/o Stanford University, I don’t want it.
Years ago Olympic road cycling cancelled the 100km four-man team time trial and I’m still bitter about that! The four-man TT was a killer event. The time was on the third rider to cross the finish line. A four person team could barely afford to lose one rider. One flat, a bonk, do we wait, do we go? This had to be decided on the road by the team while riding on the razor’s edge of anaerobic doom.
Olympic track lost the tandem match sprint. Track is also losing the individual pursuit events this year for reasons I can’t imagine. Thank you, UCI. The tandem sprint was no flash in the pan event, introduced into the Olympics in 1908. It was finally terminated after the 1972 games. God damn it, what’s not to love? We keep thinking Cav is the fastest cyclist but track sprinters are faster. Imagine two super fast riders on one bike racing another matched pair. One pair of legs does the driving, one pair just to stoke. The stoker could also be the second pair of eyes for the driver but really his mission was to plant his face against the small of the driver’s back and spin that bike up to over 85 kph! The tactics were the same as the regular match sprint. There were track stands, jumps and bumps: it was just faster and more awesome.
I don’t know the reasoning behind the decision in 1972 but I’m here to say things were a little weird back then, many bad decisions went down in the early ’70s. The Bee Gees made it to number sixteen in the American music charts and they were not terminated with extreme prejudice right then, before it was too late.
Here is some footage of a past World Championship just to demonstrate the awesome.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS3BLySqep8&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]
@RedRanger
edit. thanks for the call out.
@scaler911
I see you’re in Vancouver, which is enviably close to The Deschutes. Since I moved up to the Olympic Peninsula from Portland, I’ve found it worthwhile to drive the extra four hours to cast dry flies on that river. Nothing like it anywhere else in the NW that I’m aware of. Except for…well…I shouldn’t blather on in public…and you’re closer to that river, too…
This Tandem Team is really working towards a disaster.
@Marcus
Dear Merxck almighty. Have you finished fellating the Olympic movement yet? The ABC had to trot out an economist this morning to defend Australia’s performance at the games (and justify their spending), in terms of those two reliable causal factors, GDP and medals per person. For fucks sake. Wiggo’s added another gold medal to his haul, and you’re all fucking whinging about golf and swimming.
@Marcus
OK, Mr Reasonable. I get it. Part of the problem is the unbelievably idiotic nationalistic TV coverage we are slave to in the USA. That miscreant Michael Phelps is built up and up and up and all we see on the TV are endless heats for swimming because the USA had success four years ago. Swimming and women’s gymnastics, you would have thought that’s all the games are here.
What about those Sydney Swans? I hear they are quite impressive.
@minion – why did the Kiwis boycott the Olympics this year?
@Gianni – Australia’s coverage is just as unbelievably and idiotically nationalistic – but less successful. At least you guys are going well (getting the 100 free was a biggie) – we are swimming like Englishmen and don’t have track and field to fall back on. If we don’t go well on the boards starting tonight there will be trouble. Although our talent identification system is something amazing. We have a chick, Kim Crow, who is competing in two separate sculling events and is a chance to win both – this is pretty much unheard of. How did out esteemed sports scientists find her? Story goes she was a 400m hurdler who was injured. Somebody told her to use the rowing machine in the gym for some rehab. She immediately pulled out numbers better than anyone at the Victorian Institute of Sport. So someone suggested she try rowing.
And anyway, as long as you get to look at Natalie Coughlin in the pool, I would say US TV is pretty good.
Sydney Swans are on top of the ladder. Its the Sydney Drop Bears who are doing no good.
@Marcus
Word.
@Gianni
So other than Natalie Coughlin adding to our broadcast. This post is the truth. We get crap on broadcast. The only thing that pleased me with the US broadcast was the amount of the cycling road race we got on Saturday morning. A really pleasant surprise.
@frank
I have seen a “push me, pull you” tandem on an organized ride. Dumbest idea ever.
@graham d.m.
Nipple lube.
Did someone say Olympic diving, or swimming or whatever?
@scaler911
Brilliant!
@frank
Inspired by the rebel fighters on Hoth?
@scaler911 Awesome! And there is no paper.
@Marcus
Cos they knew the Aussies were going to win fuck all. No point going if you can’t beat Australia while you’re at it.
@scaler911
Awesome.
That is all.
@Marcus
John Daly switched to martial arts?
Going for GOLD!
@sthilzy yep.
On a random and only partially related tangent;
Maybe it’s just me, but I’m already sick of trying to watch the Olympics here in Aus. I say ‘trying’ beacuse I just can’t seem to get past the sheer amount of advertisements and logo placement as well as the inane blather by ex-footballer commentators who are ignorant about most things in life, let alone sport other than their own.
I get that broadcast rights are very expensive, but I can’t help but feel that the Olympic ideal has been completely fucked over by these c*nts. I get the sense that the Olympics are secondary to the marketing opportunity of the sponsors and by what’s going to be on channel 9 after the Olympics. “Who gives a shit about all of these funny sports anyways, eh Eddie?”
Imagine winding this big ring up….
Sync Diving is on the tele right now. I have to admit, these guys are pretty fucking honed little bastards. Which surprises me, given that these guys are competing at falling off a plank, a skill which many a scurvy matey successfully accomplished at the hands of their pirate captains.
On the subject of host nations, I took this in Whistler at the winter games. I still refuse to be impressed until I know what the maximum number of Tenacity is.
In other news, Andy Schleck has apparently taken up Women’s Beach Volleyball.
@scaler911
The +1 Badge was bound to change hands during this thread; and no better place to go than you, especially after the subsequent shitting photo. Cheers.
@RedRanger
What the fuck are you even talking about?
@Marcus, nothing wrong with swimming as an olympic sport. Maybe we could cut the number of events down to the ones that just the Americans medal in? Oh, right. Sorry. Won’t be cutting any then.
@Gianni
Word up. Except they had start-to-finish coverage of BOTH the mens and women’s road and TT races. That’s a first, they don’t even do that during the Tour de France.
They are doing something right with the coverage at least.
@mouse
Nipple Lube. That stupid Footballer who fills the swimming coverage with footy anecdotes is a type 1 Wankspanner.
@minion
MINION!!! FUCKING NO!!!!! WHERE DID FUCKING ELMO GO? JESUS CHRIST MAN, PUT HIM BACK!!!
Seriously, he was one of the major redeeming qualities of your contribution here.
@frank was only a few Olympics ago that we beat you in the pool (and that was when you had swimmers like Misty Hyman (great name) who was doped to the gills – but yes, you are going ok in this one. Shame the Chinese are going to beat you overall.
@Gianni speaking of swimming, you might like this piece of Australiana. My local pool (where I shall be swimming later today) is called the Harold Holt Memorial Swimming Centre – named after our esteemed Prime Minister who died in office. Cause of death. Drowning!
@minion – that wankspanner is a Rugby Leage commentator. Not football.
@minion
What are you doing?
@frank
Shudder.
You’ve just ruined everything.
@brett
With apologies to Sir Wiggins. I see they made others look like twats too…
Fixed it. More close up makes avatar moar better.
@Marcus
I’m still all a glow over Misty Hyman…
And maybe a little harsh with Michael Phelps, I just like the word miscreant so.
@frank
You are correct about NBC covering the road races so well. The announcing was total rubbish but the time dedicated to it was perfect.
elmo was from a different time. Now I’m an angry minion who likes calling the lot of you wanker c#*ts.
@frank
fucking gold!
And no argument on the money issue. It is just so easy to see that corruptive influence at every turn. Sport is a huge industry, but as you prosaically point out, it doesn’t always have to be. I’m just a cynical old bastard.
Can anyone explain why cycling had to drop the pursuit and the Kilo to get BMX and Mtn Bike in while there are 34 versions of swimming. What is the point of backstroke, breast-stroke, butterfly other than to give the people who aren’t very good at freestyle the chance to get a medal? How many competitive cyclists are there in the world? How many competitive swimmers? One tenth? Why are we getting screwed?
And another thing, what is the point of men’s beach volleyball? Drop it!
@Pistolfromwarragul Because TV audiences can more easily follow what goes on in a pool than they can a velodrome. Those Wanker C*&ts at the IOC are probably going to take the Kieren next Olympics to make way for DH.
It certainly was in 1960 anyway…
On the coverage thing, I’d say don’t complain until you’ve heard the International Feed, which is what I get. Basically a network pays for access but doesn’t do their own coverage or production so these are the generic commentators. Supermarket brand. People who didn’t get offered work by anyone else.
In the TT they were excitedly talking about Tony Martin catching up with Wiggins. Quite a talking point, given that Martin had gone off before him (it was actually Chavanel). And then for the last minute they were in a lather about whether Cancellara would be close to Wiggins, when there’d already been an on-screen clock showing him outside Wiggins’ time with 500m to go.
On the issue of athletics/swimming, to be fair that’s what gets the biggest TV audiences, therefore the biggest advertising and sponsorship. I agree it is somewhat bloated with events like synchronised diving, swimming etc although I’m not sure what athletics events would be removed. But that’s the relative power of the federations. FINA is big and has a lot of clout, so naturally they press for more events.
The UCI is relatively weak and pusillanimous to boot.
@G’phant Zzzzzz…mmpph-cough-splutter…hmmm, wazzat?
Nice article, Gianni! I was just regaling some disbelieving good folk on Friday eve past with tales of Trentin and Morelon, et al. and their feats of tandemic derring-do…
@frank
Thanks to cycling I’m no longer fat enough to practice Fook’Yu
@scaler911
Multiple apologies – we Scots “invented” (fucking) golf and curling and have much to answer for.
On the other paw O’Bree is Scottish and interesting.
@minion
I always whinge about golf – it’s one of my defining traits
@minion
There must be a chutzpah point in there for daring to use Pippi Longstocking’s image on here.
@mouse
Agreed. This year’s coverage does bring it to a new low. The chopping and changing from event to event is infuriating.
Fuck it, couldn’t find the original post from earlier this year so I’ll just recap…
Back in summer I was getting near the top of one the local climbs here that has a restaurant & lookout at the top and as I started up the final stretch to the lookout I got overtaken by this big coach of tourists. Roll out on the lookout 30 seconds later & am getting going on a banana when this older lady comes over congratulating me on being out riding in the heat & getting up the hill.
She then tells a story about how her dad represented Holland in the Olympics back in the day & had won gold at the 1928 & Silver at the 1936 games. Went on to say how she always loved cycling but there were no races back then for girls so she took up swimming & with her cycling legs absolutely smoked everyone else. Apparently her two daughter also loved riding despite becoming pro swimmers.
Cue some WIki searching when I got to the office later that day & best I could make out Dad was Bernard Leene & I’d been talking to his daughter Antoinette. Here’s a shot of Bernie from 1928 proving once and for all that winners really are grinners.
@Marcus
Re Former Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt. He did not drown in the surf at Portsea back beach. He defected to China and was picked up in a submarine. Everyone knows this.
@minion Twice Madison World Champion, IIRC. Once with Wiggo.
Is it not still an event in the Paralympics? I know I’ve seen ‘blind track cycling’ where the stoker is blind and the guy on the front can see…