Anatomy of a Photo: Gilberto e Damiano dentro Laghetto

Anatomy of a Photo: Gilberto e Damiano dentro Laghetto

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It is easy to imagine photo ops and advertisements that the pros obligate themselves to for sponsors becoming tedious. Angles that sound good during an off-season drunken phone conversation are often just awkward when operationalized at the season’s first training camp and new sponsor meeting. I can’t imagine anything more emasculating than being constipated in addition to having to get into an inflatable hot tub with your protégé who just kicked your ass in his first Giro. Young hotrod Damiano Can-He-Go is kicking back and ready for some hottub sake while Gibbo is already regretting his decision not to keep their shorts on before climbing in.

// Anatomy of a Photo

  1. Well I suppose it is an improvement on Cyclops’ Rock Racing photo …

  2. That’s pretty bad, but not bad enough (like the reclining Jan in the pimpmobile photo) to be good.

  3. @Mr Haven

    That’s pretty bad, but not bad enough (like the reclining Jan in the pimpmobile photo) to be good.

    Not true. Take a good look at Gibbo. He’s clutching his right index finger in terror. And I’m pretty sure Cunego’s right leg has sidled up behind Simoni and he’s trying to tickle his bum.

  4. There’s a Cunego mono joke lurking beneath the surface just waiting to rise and burst in Gilberto’s face like a pelotonous fart bubble.

  5. @frank

    @Drew

    Fingers being pulled, bubbles in the water, come on guys, any seven year old can figure this stuff out.

  6. Come on can’t two Italian men engage in a little “man soup” for relaxation…Although I think Gibbo may be using some subliminal hand gestures to indicate what he’s really thinking…

  7. I think Gibo is demonstrating why they call Damiano Il Piccolo Principe

  8. Easy now guys, it’s obvious Gibbo is a good Roman Catholic boy with that necklace he’s got on.

  9. Cunego: My thoughts are tranquil.

    Simoni: Yes, my sensations are good.

  10. Photog:
    OK, lads. This is going to be weird. Strip down, hop in, and relax. I can get you a strong drink? Gibbo, you aren’t supposed to keep glaring at your teammate. What’s good for him is good for the team, and that’s good for us.

    Gibbo:
    I’m GILBERTO SIMONI! I’m supposed to be the best rider on the team. I was the best climber in the world for a while – NOT HIM. I don’t know why he gets to be in the stupid picture. Chicks used to dig me. *Kicks tire on bike*

    Photog:
    If you don’t stop complaining, we’re going to show that picture of you dressed all in pink, riding that stupid pink TT bike. You SUCK at TTs, and that pink bike was never going to help.

  11. @frank
    “chicks used to dig me“… in response to the use of the word “chicks,” velomihottie the blond is not. I think I see adam’s apple. Dear Merckx, Frank was checking out a dude. Wait, or in his defence, he was simply protraying Simoni. Na, you were checking out a dude the story will have it.

  12. @frank
    The wheels tell the story eloquently.
    Gibo: Ksyriums.
    Il Piccolo: Sporting the Cosmic Carbone.

  13. This was a very short lived couple.
    Gibo was that kind of rider that liked to annihilate the competitors.
    I put him into the restricted leauge of the non-gentle riders in company of Hinault, Bruyneel, Armstrong, Virenque to name few; in opposition to the gentle-riders like: Fausto, Indurain, Gimondi, Bugno, Basso etc.

  14. @Pedale.Forchetta
    I like that categorization of riders. He definitely liked to destroy the competition, but he was also a little bitch. Is there a special category for guys like that? Oh, yeah – “Douchebags”. Answered my own question.

    This was a very short lived couple.

    The question is, would the couple have lasted longer had some fucking photog not forced them to climb into a hot tub together?

  15. Ahahah good one Frank!
    After the 2004 Giro the two fallen apart biterly
    I can’t image/explain what convinced them to have a bath together

  16. I think the bigger question here has to do with the collection of cycling photographs Marko””who also brought us Roulin’ Dirty“”has stored on his hard drive. But, honestly, I don’t really want to know about that.

  17. This photo kind of validates that “Roadie” Dudes comments from a few weeks ago about the metrosexuals and cycling.

  18. @Steampunk

    @Buck Rogers

    Just in case there was any question, I bring you the following, not to defend myself as much as to paint a picture of our supports rich (and sometimes stained) tapestry and my hard drive.

    [album: http://filemanager.dutchmonkey.com/photoalbums.php?currdir=velominati.com/content/Reader Galleries/261290193903/|width=595|height=512]

  19. NICE! Is that first one Tchmil at Roubaix the year he won?

    Definitely some HARDMEN from the past (and Boonen from the present), but there does seem to be fewer of them now, or maybe I am just getting old?

  20. @all
    I think most readers don’t realize we maintain an archive of cycling photos:
    http://www.velominati.com/about/cycling-photo-archive/

  21. @Marko
    I love the way the helicopter is hovering behind the windmill in photo 6 of Boonen, Spartacus and I presume Ballan. Very Roubaix-meets-Apocalyse Now.

  22. frank:
    @all
    I think most readers don’t realize we maintain an archive of cycling photos:
    http://www.velominati.com/about/cycling-photo-archive/

    Very Cool. You are right, I wasn’t aware and now will spend a few hours perusing. Thanks

  23. @frank

    That photo is the best thing I’ve ever seen (today).

  24. Has anyone got the photo of Van Petegem and Tafi naked in a cattle trough in a paddock somewhere near Ghent?

  25. Wow, this would be a difficult photo to ever live down.

    I do like his “necklace”! Gotta keep up the appearance of being a nice chaste boy when in the tub with another dude.

    Really tough to decide if this one or the Kaiser in the van is worse.

  26. @Brett
    I’ll bet even money Marko’s got it lined up for a future installment.

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