Anatomy of a Photo: Greg LeMelvis and Tom Ritchey

Anatomy of a Photo: Greg LeMelvis and Tom Ritchey

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Brett’s article on the the 1995 Worlds set the standard of quality in our fledgling Anatomy of  a Photo series. The great tale he had to tell of watching it from Spain, the artifacts of mid-90’s racing such as the neon colors and handlebar attachments, to say nothing of the identification of Oliviero Rincon (who, I believe may have accomplished more in his career falling off his bike than winning races).

I’m following up on his analytical and articulate piece by submitting a photo that that does little more than make me giggle like a school girl.  This puppy could double as a groundbreaker in the Breaking the Rules series, given all the violations I’m seeing even at a first glance.  Quite frankly, I’m not sure what to say that this image doesn’t already communicate in spades.

We have LeMelvis, seemingly not in any way on the same page as American Cycling Icon Tom Ritchey.  He seems to be begging for Tom’s attention like a child tugging at his mother’s skirt. Tom seems to hardly notice the three-time Tour winner and is apparently intent on capturing him in this humiliating state.  Not that Greg needs help in that department, seems a proper genius at it, in fact.

Then we have the fact that LeMond is riding in a longsleeve jersey, and Tom has seen fit to (shoddily) cut the sleeves off his jersey altogether.  Seems to be bit of a difference betwixt the two in sense of temperature comfort zones, or perhaps a more coordinated evaluation of the outside temperature pre-ride would have been suitable.

In any case, this photo deserves a place in this series, and what better time than a Friday afternoon to stare at a computer screen and make fun of some people who have accomplished loads in their careers.  I prescribe heavy helpings of The V to both of them.

// Anatomy of a Photo

  1. @Omar
    Its Burt & FDR atling about whiskey runs

  2. …rattling

  3. And the winner is…

  4. How come it won’t post my pictures even though I’m logged in it shows the image link/html code before I submit the post?

    Anyway…

  5. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! It doesn’t work if I hit the image button either.

  6. @Cyclops
    Try removing pop-up blocker. If that doesn’t work, cut and paste a link and a Keeper can upload the image for you. Sorry for the hassle.

    And, no, I don’t think Freddy Mercury was the best frontman of all time. I post that shit on blogs from time to time to get flame wars going and stir up the homophobia. Works every time.

    Without a doubt, it was Steve Perry from Journey.

  7. @Marko
    It’s good to know that the Velominati have their very own homegrown troll.

  8. Try this…

  9. I hate you.

  10. i have had the same prob cyclops, not sure what i did wrong but couldn’t upload anything but a bunch of letters in a apocalyptic configuration

  11. Cyclops :I hate you.

    Jeez man, I’m only trying to help

  12. @Marko

    The hate was being focused at the interwebs and technology in general, not at you.

  13. @Cyclops

    @Souleur

    Now, now, children.

    Hey guys – you both have my email address, so go over to this web page, and paste the contents of it into an email to me; I’ll see what I can do. This will tell me what browser you’re using etc, and I can use that to troubleshoot the problem. Oddly enough, Troll Noise isn’t a very helpful debugging tool.

    Technology: it makes us 100% more efficient and creates 200% more work.

    http://filemanager.dutchmonkey.com/browser.php

  14. Brett :@sgt
    Wash your mouth out Sgt (as Freddy no doubt had to do on many occasions).

    Hey, sexual proclivities aside (NTTAWWT), Freddy did write “Bicycle Race” ,and even staged a nude female bike race to promote the single (thus adding another layer to the term “Hard Man”) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Queen_Bicycle_Race_cover.jpg

    Still figuring out how this comment thingy works for links, photos etc… not hating tho (yet)

  15. A little trivia: What famous U.K. bike shop did they rent all the bikes in the Queen video from?

    Hint: think Nicole Cooke

  16. @Cyclops
    Thank you for edging things back to being on topic. For a moent there I thought I had mistakenly gotten onto some Twitfacesterspace music blog.

  17. Cyclops :A little trivia: What famous U.K. bike shop did they rent all the bikes in the Queen video from?
    Hint: think Nicole Cooke

    Umm, Minger Cycles?

  18. @Cyclops
    +1

  19. @Marko
    Peter Garrett, by the way.

  20. @Steampunk
    I love Midnight Oil, and Peter Garrett with his Joe Cocker-esque spasms. The guy is just cool. I thought since he’s like the grand minister of the outside or something now in Australia and a big greenie like me I might find him pictured on a bike. The first page of google images didn’t come up with anything though.

    Any Aussie’s down there have any opinions on the guy? Cuz from up here he seems pretty awesome.

  21. @Marko
    I shall forgive your ignorance due to the tyranny of distance. Garrett – whilst not bad fun as a musician – has been an absolute fuck-up as a politician.

    The Greenies down here were expecting a lot of him (even if he is a Labor man), but he has made mistake after mistake and let party politics get in the way of him doing anything meaningful. His biggest mistake was an ill-fated housing insulation scheme that was rorted by dodgey tradesmen and resulted in a number of deaths.

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/02/11/2816296.htm

    We are looking at the prospect of a hung parliament right now and with any luck this monkey will end up in the backbenches where he belongs. Yet another “celebrity politician” who has been a failure with Ronny Reagan being the notable exception!

  22. @Marcus
    I might not agree with you (entirely) on Marko’s shoes, but I’m with you on this. In their day, MO were a great live band – in large part because PG was a hoot on stage. But even then you got a sense it was all a bit of an act tinged with more than a hint of insincerity. Then I saw him talk to a bunch of students when I was at university and I remember thinking that he didn’t do anything wrong but it was all a bit of an act tinged with more than a hint of insincerity. Then he entered politics and it all made sense. That said, it is a shame to see him making such a total hash of it – not becuse I care about the Australian body politic, or because I worry about the fate of the inhabitants of Australians generally, but because I don’t want him to chuck it in and start touring again in one of those “old bastards fresh out of ideas but keen to grab some mega-dosh pretending to still be the rebels they once thought they were” tours.

  23. @G’phant
    Oh fuck – what am I doing? This is supposed to be All About The Bike, not a little bit about Peter Garrett. Sorry, folks. Quick, a cycling topic someone. Er … anyone wanna guess what the Grimplets’ new team will be called?

  24. @G’phant
    haven’t got an answer for you on that, but here is a question for you. Whom of the Australian cycling team selectors is Baden Cooke blowing to get picked in the road team ahead of McEwen, Renshaw, Haussler, me?

    http://www.sbs.com.au/cyclingcentral/news/15377/Shocks-in-Cyclones-squad-for-World-Champs

  25. @Marcus

    And neither do I – thankfully – have an answer to your question. But it’s a bloody good one. Cannot follow that decision at all.

    What do you reckon about the course? Is Bettini right? I’m picking the Australian selectors don’t think it’ll be a bunch sprint – otherwise they’d not have picked Cooke and would’ve picked Renshaw and McEwen (for the sprint) and Haussler (to take out CavenlookdownandrunovermywheeloncemoreandI’llnutyoudish).

    Most amusing bit is watching Robbie try to keep a lid on his anger. (Er, Robbie, you might not get there ahead of Heinie and MarkyMark even if Baden wasn’t there.)

  26. @G’phant
    Everyone I have spoken to who knows the course reckons it won’t be a bunch sprint.

    And I believe that racing for GB will be Mark CavencantbelieveIhavetogetmyownfuckingdrinksdish.

  27. Garrett and the Oils (pronounced Oyyyyyyyyy-olllllllllllls in ‘Strine) lost all relevance around 85. Up til then they were a scorching live act, and their first 3 albums and the Bird Noises EP were, and still are, brilliant records. Then they sold out. Reference Beds are Burning or Blue Sky Mining. Shite.

    And as for his political career, Marcus summed it up perfectly. He sold out in music, and in politics (but his political capitulation actually hurt people, whereas his music only hurt the ears.)

  28. BTW, the answer to the Queen video trivia question is Halfords

  29. Cyclops :

    BTW, the answer to the Queen video trivia question is Halfords

    wait for it…

  30. Anyone wanna guess what the Grimplets’ new team will be called?

    Les Frere Grimpuer Ganger Le Monde!!

  31. @all
    By the way, if I were selecting a National Aussie team, I would overlook Cav’s leadout man as well. I think Renshaw’s loyalty to his mate would be considered a risk by any reasonable manager. I think every team would want to select for team unity above all else to avoid the Italian fiascos of the past.

  32. Perhaps the better question should be: who’s getting laid after the ride? Ummmm… that would be T.R. Besides, the guy is fucking railing his inner Richard Petty who may as well been winning Roubaix he was so damn cool. Sure, he was a internal combustion guy, so he is automatically disqualified. But c’mon. Who among us didn’t worship the guys ability to slay everyone with his righteous cool? He would have kicked Poulidor’s ass just as thoroughly as Antequil did. And he wouldn’t have even let Lemon (dropped “d” intentional) into the damn race.

  33. @Matthew White
    I count two (2) posts from you, and already I like you.

  34. Lemond does have pretty nice hair, but he certainly doesn’t come close to how cool TR looks with his hair and mustache. Oh, and the ripped off jersey sleeves. From the head shot the guy looks like he belongs on a roaring loud motorcycle, not a bicycle.

    I’d grow a mustache starting today, but sadly after a few weeks of not shaving all I have is a lame duster above my lip. And the crazy thing is that I’ve never seen my father without an awesome mustache, not a day in my life. Almost got him to shave it off a few years back, but he didn’t give in.

  35. @ron
    I grew a beard for 3 years before realizing it was not going well. Plus, it’s against The Rules, provided you’re not a burly Russian dude. Which I’m not. I’m Dutch. We’re a civilized people, from a civilized age.

  36. @scaler911
    You just wrecked it for me.

  37. @scaler911

    @Marko

    Scaler you should be banned for posting those shots and Marko just what got wrecked??

    If one allows for some sort of steroid use for his blood condition then the weight thing can be forgiven but there are some shots (one with his tongue out) that make him out to be a complete twatwaffle… but he does have nice teeth!

  38. @Rob

    @scaler911
    @Marko
    Scaler you should be banned for posting those shots and Marko just what got wrecked??
    If one allows for some sort of steroid use for his blood condition then the weight thing can be forgiven but there are some shots (one with his tongue out) that make him out to be a complete twatwaffle… but he does have nice teeth!

    Banned? That’s a bit harsh don’t you think? I think it was punishment enough that I couldn’t eat breakfast after seeing those. One of ‘em, at first glance, looks like he’s wearing a Livestrong cock ring (how funny would that be?).

  39. @scaler911
    Well, on his wrist, if I need to clarify.

  40. @scaler911
    Not to overuse this phrase, but:

    wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

    Holy Merckx’ cock! Those are some unpleasant images. Warning, these cannot be unseen…

  41. @Rob
    LeMan’s god-like status. Wrecked. I need to scrub my brain.

  42. In the third pic in on the top row, there’s a guy with “Lemond Fitness” on his jersey standing to Greg’s right.

    Greg’s jersey ought to read “Le-non’d Fitness.”

  43. Ah, good on him! I’d be honoured to ride with LeMond, even if he has put on a pound or two.

  44. @earnest

    In the third pic in on the top row, there’s a guy with “Lemond Fitness” on his jersey standing to Greg’s right.
    Greg’s jersey ought to read Lemond Fatness

    Fixed your post.

  45. @scaler911
    The yellow wristband–it caught my attention, too! Oh irony of ironies if it had been one.

    Note a distinct lack of Giro helmet on Greg, as well. I’m sure LA’s part ownership in Bell/Giro has ended Greg’s attachment to them, same as the end of the Trek/Lemond relationship.

  46. Ahhh the randomness of Recent & Random Articles….

    The sheer manditute of that manstache!

  47. This requires bumping, if nothing else but to illustrate, how simple life used to be…..there is good, and there is bad….or is there?

    With the benefit of hindsight, LeMelvis has become LeMan, and where now is the dude with the swept back hair, bad shades and Barney Rubble shirt?

    C’est La Vie!

  48. @Deakus This was a strange time and place.

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