Anatomy of a Photo: Greg LeMelvis and Tom Ritchey

Q'est que c'est le Fuck?

Brett’s article on the the 1995 Worlds set the standard of quality in our fledgling Anatomy of  a Photo series. The great tale he had to tell of watching it from Spain, the artifacts of mid-90’s racing such as the neon colors and handlebar attachments, to say nothing of the identification of Oliviero Rincon (who, I believe may have accomplished more in his career falling off his bike than winning races).

I’m following up on his analytical and articulate piece by submitting a photo that that does little more than make me giggle like a school girl.  This puppy could double as a groundbreaker in the Breaking the Rules series, given all the violations I’m seeing even at a first glance.  Quite frankly, I’m not sure what to say that this image doesn’t already communicate in spades.

We have LeMelvis, seemingly not in any way on the same page as American Cycling Icon Tom Ritchey.  He seems to be begging for Tom’s attention like a child tugging at his mother’s skirt. Tom seems to hardly notice the three-time Tour winner and is apparently intent on capturing him in this humiliating state.  Not that Greg needs help in that department, seems a proper genius at it, in fact.

Then we have the fact that LeMond is riding in a longsleeve jersey, and Tom has seen fit to (shoddily) cut the sleeves off his jersey altogether.  Seems to be bit of a difference betwixt the two in sense of temperature comfort zones, or perhaps a more coordinated evaluation of the outside temperature pre-ride would have been suitable.

In any case, this photo deserves a place in this series, and what better time than a Friday afternoon to stare at a computer screen and make fun of some people who have accomplished loads in their careers.  I prescribe heavy helpings of The V to both of them.

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76 Replies to “Anatomy of a Photo: Greg LeMelvis and Tom Ritchey”

  1. @Marcus

    And neither do I – thankfully – have an answer to your question. But it’s a bloody good one. Cannot follow that decision at all.

    What do you reckon about the course? Is Bettini right? I’m picking the Australian selectors don’t think it’ll be a bunch sprint – otherwise they’d not have picked Cooke and would’ve picked Renshaw and McEwen (for the sprint) and Haussler (to take out CavenlookdownandrunovermywheeloncemoreandI’llnutyoudish).

    Most amusing bit is watching Robbie try to keep a lid on his anger. (Er, Robbie, you might not get there ahead of Heinie and MarkyMark even if Baden wasn’t there.)

  2. @G’phant
    Everyone I have spoken to who knows the course reckons it won’t be a bunch sprint.

    And I believe that racing for GB will be Mark CavencantbelieveIhavetogetmyownfuckingdrinksdish.

  3. Garrett and the Oils (pronounced Oyyyyyyyyy-olllllllllllls in ‘Strine) lost all relevance around 85. Up til then they were a scorching live act, and their first 3 albums and the Bird Noises EP were, and still are, brilliant records. Then they sold out. Reference Beds are Burning or Blue Sky Mining. Shite.

    And as for his political career, Marcus summed it up perfectly. He sold out in music, and in politics (but his political capitulation actually hurt people, whereas his music only hurt the ears.)

  4. @all
    By the way, if I were selecting a National Aussie team, I would overlook Cav’s leadout man as well. I think Renshaw’s loyalty to his mate would be considered a risk by any reasonable manager. I think every team would want to select for team unity above all else to avoid the Italian fiascos of the past.

  5. Perhaps the better question should be: who’s getting laid after the ride? Ummmm… that would be T.R. Besides, the guy is fucking railing his inner Richard Petty who may as well been winning Roubaix he was so damn cool. Sure, he was a internal combustion guy, so he is automatically disqualified. But c’mon. Who among us didn’t worship the guys ability to slay everyone with his righteous cool? He would have kicked Poulidor’s ass just as thoroughly as Antequil did. And he wouldn’t have even let Lemon (dropped “d” intentional) into the damn race.

  6. Lemond does have pretty nice hair, but he certainly doesn’t come close to how cool TR looks with his hair and mustache. Oh, and the ripped off jersey sleeves. From the head shot the guy looks like he belongs on a roaring loud motorcycle, not a bicycle.

    I’d grow a mustache starting today, but sadly after a few weeks of not shaving all I have is a lame duster above my lip. And the crazy thing is that I’ve never seen my father without an awesome mustache, not a day in my life. Almost got him to shave it off a few years back, but he didn’t give in.

  7. @ron
    I grew a beard for 3 years before realizing it was not going well. Plus, it’s against The Rules, provided you’re not a burly Russian dude. Which I’m not. I’m Dutch. We’re a civilized people, from a civilized age.

  8. @scaler911

    @Marko

    Scaler you should be banned for posting those shots and Marko just what got wrecked??

    If one allows for some sort of steroid use for his blood condition then the weight thing can be forgiven but there are some shots (one with his tongue out) that make him out to be a complete twatwaffle… but he does have nice teeth!

  9. @Rob

    @scaler911
    @Marko
    Scaler you should be banned for posting those shots and Marko just what got wrecked??
    If one allows for some sort of steroid use for his blood condition then the weight thing can be forgiven but there are some shots (one with his tongue out) that make him out to be a complete twatwaffle… but he does have nice teeth!

    Banned? That’s a bit harsh don’t you think? I think it was punishment enough that I couldn’t eat breakfast after seeing those. One of ’em, at first glance, looks like he’s wearing a Livestrong cock ring (how funny would that be?).

  10. @scaler911
    Not to overuse this phrase, but:

    wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

    Holy Merckx’ cock! Those are some unpleasant images. Warning, these cannot be unseen…

  11. In the third pic in on the top row, there’s a guy with “Lemond Fitness” on his jersey standing to Greg’s right.

    Greg’s jersey ought to read “Le-non’d Fitness.”

  12. @earnest

    In the third pic in on the top row, there’s a guy with “Lemond Fitness” on his jersey standing to Greg’s right.
    Greg’s jersey ought to read Lemond Fatness

    Fixed your post.

  13. @scaler911
    The yellow wristband–it caught my attention, too! Oh irony of ironies if it had been one.

    Note a distinct lack of Giro helmet on Greg, as well. I’m sure LA’s part ownership in Bell/Giro has ended Greg’s attachment to them, same as the end of the Trek/Lemond relationship.

  14. This requires bumping, if nothing else but to illustrate, how simple life used to be…..there is good, and there is bad….or is there?

    With the benefit of hindsight, LeMelvis has become LeMan, and where now is the dude with the swept back hair, bad shades and Barney Rubble shirt?

    C’est La Vie!

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