Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France Stage 17

Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France Stage 17

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At one point [Conan the Barbarian], and his other old warrior friends capture this village, but then they find that they are surrounded by an army of tens of thousands, and his only reaction is, “Oh man, it’s going to take days to kill all these people!” – Jens Voigt

This (paraphrased) passage from Terry Pratchett’s parody of the famous character helped Jens struggle through a stage that would have seen weaker men climb into the broom wagon.  But struggle through he did, and he should swing his leg over the top tube of his (own) bike again at the start line of Stage 17.

I look at this photo and realize that I’m a sick man.  I see his blood-soaked clothes and body, and the first thing I say to myself is, “How did he get his Speedplay cleats to stay in those old pedals?  And check out those sweet old Campy Chorus alu Ergos!  I’ve been looking for a pair of those!”

But I digress.  The inaugural Velominati Super Prestige launches it’s third VSP Sub-Competition with Stage 17 of the Tour de France.  The competition will allow contestants the opportunity to win bonus points in the VSP Tour de France by choosing the top three finishers of the stage for a chance to win 3 points for first place, 2 for second, and 1 for third.

Stage 17 should prove to be the most decisive stage of the race, providing Brother Grimpeur the Younger his final legitimate opportunity to win this Tour de France while – in theory at least – Bertie YouTube needs to do little more than defend his position to be almost assured of taking his third crown. Schleck said during the rest day that the first man to reach La Mongie atop the Tourmalet will win this Tour; will Grimpito set off the Guns of Navarone and take enough time in order to stave off the inevitable surge from Contador in the final time trial on Saturday?  Or will the Climbing Paella launch a surprise attack to prove he is the strongest climber in this years Tour, taking time out of Schleck before the time trial?

Make your picks for the top three of the day by the time tomorrow’s stage starts, regular VSP Rules apply.  Good luck!

// Velominati Super Prestige

  1. “Grimplet”! Love it.

    Likewise “YouTube”.

    Also “GivesitHell”. Have been looking for an alternative to “Hesjedal” because, to those of us in the Antipodes, “Hesjedal” sounds far too much like the way a stout matronly blue-rinsed West Sydney fishwife would approvingly (and possibly lustfully) say “He’s a darl”, and I don’t want to think of Ryder as “darl”. (Marcus / Brett – leap in here if I am being overly sensitive to Strine.)

  2. @Joshua
    A++1

  3. Jens’ latest contribution. The genius controls the chaos!

    @Joshua
    That’s gold!

  4. @frank Oh how we dream for such a result

  5. Bah…I’m shamelessly going for the points here:

    1.Bring out the Grimp (hopefully he’s not sleeping)
    2.C-Odor
    3. Denis The Mensch

    Grimp will beat Bertie by just under a minute, Bertie will stick a minute and a half on him in the TT, win by a hair and get booed all the way to Paris.

  6. @Joe
    Let’s put ‘im in Russel’s old room.

    1.Grimpito
    2.Gesink
    3.Sans-chez

  7. I know I’m too late, but:

    1. Grimpito
    2. JENS! on your MOMS! bike
    3. Nick Roche powered by Non Gadret’s still-beating heart, which he plucked from his chest while chanting KAH-LI-MAH, and promptly ate with a nice chianti.

    And for a bonus point: Grimpito celebrates with two CATS!-like claw scrapes to the sky followed by jazz hands.

  8. Question, does the road get Jensrash when he crashes?

  9. Contador and Schleck are going 29 kph UPHILL!

  10. Nice ride. I loved the look Grimplet gave Bad Boy Bertie after Bertie tried to break away at 3.5km. “Do that again and I’ll rip your legs off.” But little from Grimpito to try to shed Bertie apart from pushing a hard climb. Nice to see Hesjedal hang in there for fourth. Was hoping for a strong finish, but would never have tipped him for top five. Big chapeau there.

  11. Does anybody else think this was a little like the Puy de Dome in ’64… Apart from Grimpito didn’t drop him. Does that mean he’ll be the new eternal second.

    @Cyclops
    Oh My!

  12. Quality day!

    Ride of the day was Hesjedal for mine. Seeing that lanky bugger emerge out of the mist behind Rodriguez was dead cool. Total legend. The big Canadian diesel just went to another level.

  13. Hesjedal seems to be the Twiggo of 2010. Maybe Vaughters has something to do with it.

  14. @Velomihottie

    Having to have things organized is for small minded people. The Genius controls the chaos!

    Shit.

  15. @Nathan

    Does anybody else think this was a little like the Puy de Dome in ’64… Apart from Grimpito didn’t drop him. Does that mean he’ll be the new eternal second.

    Indeed. I think YouTube’s attack was a masterful bluff; I think he was moments from cracking and decided to attack. His head was rolling and really looked like he was on the ropes. I was really hoping for Andy to take it, but those guys are matched so damn closely, it’s unreal. I’m hoping for some TT fireworks.

  16. @Marko

    Hesjedal seems to be the Twiggo of 2010. Maybe Vaughters has something to do with it.

    It’s the Mischievous Turtleneck Sweater that is the real genius in that team.

  17. I love that Phil and Paul were going at it over whether or not they would be finishing in the clouds.
    Phil: They’ll break through and finish in the sunshine!
    Paul: I’m not so sure they will, Phil.
    Phil: Oh, they will, I assure you of that!
    Paul (later): …and these two men are climbing through the cloulds like to two shadows…
    Phil: But they’ll break through and finish in the sunshine!

  18. Hawkeye :Quality day!
    Ride of the day was Hesjedal for mine. Seeing that lanky bugger emerge out of the mist behind Rodriguez was dead cool. Total legend. The big Canadian diesel just went to another level.

    Big Diesel: nice nickname.

    Marko :Hesjedal seems to be the Twiggo of 2010. Maybe Vaughters has something to do with it.

    Yes and no. He’s a pretty humble guy (which I like), and I think he has better lasting power. I think he’s still more of a classics rider and he knows it.

  19. @all
    Wow, perfect scores from Kermitpunk and Geof! Some other good showings for those who (not surprisingly) picked Grimpito and YouTube.

    Strong work.

  20. @frank
    I wish now I had continued above with Grimpito, but with Bertie on his wheel; Rodriquez will follow at the head of the rest. It doesn’t sound quite so impressive now…

  21. Anyone seen this?

    http://velonews.competitor.com/2010/07/news/sastre-rails-against-%E2%80%98polite%E2%80%99-peloton-at-tour-de-france_130862

    Sastre basically calls the Pro Peloton a bunch of Nancies that want everyone to care about their feelings.

    Hilarious.

  22. @Omar
    But wait, isn’t Sastre a bunch of Nancies?

  23. @Omar, @Marko
    Yeah…pot, kettle. Really funny.

  24. What an exciting stage to watch! Had my heart racing over the last few kms watching the Grimplet stare down Bertie… The crowds up the top of the Tourmalet were amazing. The Borat Mankini men were up there again this year. Would have been interesting if the mountain sheep had taken the front running Astana guys out! Sanchez finishing in 5th – I think? – was a great effort given he looked like he crashed out of the tour early on as well.

  25. This season I have become a big fan of the Katusha team – and not just because they have the best kit in the peloton and their hats were on sale at Nashbar-oh no!- but for exciting riders like Ivanov and J-Rod, not to mention Robbie McEwen. Solid rides from all today, including McEwen:

  26. Er… McEwen pops a wheelie crossing the Tourmalet:

    http://desmond.yfrog.com/Himg101/scaled.php?tn=0&server=101&filename=p5l.png&xsize=640&ysize=640

  27. One last thing: WTF happened to Levi today? Sitting in 7th before the stage, I noticed he didn’t say a thing about moving up on the GC, but instead talked about this B.S. team competition. Last I checked, a top-10 spot in Le Tour is something you defend. So, instead he dropped 9 minutes today, landing at 13th and Horner leapfrogged him up to 10th. What a mess!

    @omar My favorite part of that article is when Sastre refers to the peloton as a “baby’s playpen”. SNAP!

  28. He has to win first. Then, at all attempts of reclaiming glory, he will be the eternal second ala Ulle.

    Nathan :Does anybody else think this was a little like the Puy de Dome in ’64… Apart from Grimpito didn’t drop him. Does that mean he’ll be the new eternal second.
    @Cyclops
    Oh My!

  29. @Omar
    I think the big difference between Ulli and Grimpito is the killer instinct. The confidence, the attitude, the intimidating looks he was giving Contador…What made Pou-pou, Zoetemelk, and Ulli eternal seconds was that they never had the upper hand mentally. Even on good form, they lost the race psychologically. Not Grimp; he is a force to be reckoned with.

  30. @Velomihottie

    Borat Mankini were up there again this year

    I saw a dude in assless chaps. Jesus. What happened to just watching the bike race?

    Sanchez looked fucking awful. Then he ended up taking time out! Amazing!

    I’ve ridden the Tourmalet many times; I’ve never seen it NOT in mist like that. WTF?

    @ben
    Ha! Marcus should love that! I’ve been impressed with J-Rod…unfortunately, he has the air about him of a rider about to return a positive test?

    Do you credit Katusha with loppin’ off the Rug Salesmen’s mullet? If so, I’m a fan, too.

  31. How good was the look that the Grimplet gave Berti. That one is going to be stored away in the memory back for a while to come. Perhaps that came from a force deep down in his stomach ‘full of anger’.

  32. @Velomihottie
    I gotta say, though, that Bertie has behaved in quite a classy way post Chaingate – eg:

    “Asked what the pair had spoken about after Schleck had closed down that attack and the pair continued on towards the finish, the Spaniard said: “Things that are said in the race have to stay within the race.”

    and

    He denied that his form has not been as good as last year, saying that this year’s Tour has been far harder….After a moment, he joked about his suggested drop in performance: “Also, I’m getting older.”

    The prospect of Good Bertie and Good Grimpito spending the next 5 years engaged in a sporting rivalry of extreme intensity but untarnished by personal invective and undignified outbursts is a superb one.

  33. @Geof
    Bertie has been classy post chaingate I agree. It did look to me last night that he handed the stage win to the Grimplet – probably his way of saying sorry. Why oh why are there no more mountain stages left to do battle on. I’m starting to feel the same way about this tour as I did about the Giro – why can’t it go on for another month!

  34. @frank
    I absolutely agree with you. Little Grimp looked like an animal today, I can’t wait to see the kinda fire he brings to the Tour next year. Today’s stage was probably the most epic I’ve ever seen. Intense battle of wills, each rival matching and countering the other’s efforts. Historic, even.

  35. @Omar
    I agree. (Phil Liggett got quite excited on the whole “historic day” angle. You’re not Phil, are you?)

  36. @Geof
    Haha, sadly I’m not Phil. I would love his job, but since I don’t have a British accent, I think I would fail.

  37. @Geof – spot on. I think Bertie found his form yesterday a little, he never looked in any danger of dropping off. Once in the alps and once at chaingate that was maybe a different story….liked the little grin and wink at the finish too. In fact I’m beginning to like the guy again….altogether weird.

  38. @Omar
    Poulidor never won… in fact he never wore the yellow

  39. @frank
    I think Andy did make the mistake of not countering. As Stephen Roche said afterwards, you’re not going to just ride Contador off your wheel… (but didn’t Raschicken do that?)

  40. I loved Van den Broeck’s frustration with the media scrum surrounding Sarkozy: “If he’s in my way, I’m going over him.”

  41. Sean Kelly riding the Tourmalet on a 1910 bike… http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1385695681554

  42. @Nathan
    Like any of us needed more evidence of what a stud that guy is!

  43. I’ve been impressed with J-Rod…unfortunately, he has the air about him of a rider about to return a positive test?

    Bah! How dare you! Actually I just love the dude’s steady climb to the top – check his CQRanking. PRO for 10 years and slowly getting better.

  44. Missed this one didn’t I

  45. I wasn’t sure where to put this, but as far as V rides go, this has to rank as the individual performance of the year thus far. TT with one bar””having lost your shifters. And finishing top ten. Dude’s a stud!

  46. What a hardout! Top ride indeed by the big man.

  47. Another piece of information worth sharing and no obvious home on these boards, but this will provide hours of entertainment. (from BIG RING).

  48. @Steampunk
    You idiot! How will anyone get any work done now!

  49. @Steampunk
    Sweet find.

  50. @harminator
    What can I say? Misery loves company? As it happens, my sabbatical is unofficially underway; while I still have some administrative responsibilities until the end of June, I won’t teach again until September 2012. In my leave application, I refrained from asserting that I would spend a lot more time on my bike and playing around on cycling websites, but I think that is going to be the de facto research plan…

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