V Day
Ah, February 14 is here again. A very special day for all of us. A day you don’t want to forget. A day when you make that extra effort to show the one you love just how much they mean to you. V Day.
On this day, I will rise early, tiptoeing out of bed so as not to make any noise and stir the sleeping. I will dress quickly and quietly, leaving the shoes until the last moment to avoid any heavy footed clomping. Making my way to the kitchen, I’ll prepare snacks and drinks, to be enjoyed during the adventure I have carefully planned for the day. The excitement builds within me as I think about what lays ahead.
When I see her there before me, waiting, my heart rate increases, and continues to rise as I make first contact with her. I whisper seductively “Are you ready? I’m gonna ride you hard today.” I reach for the lube and the pump.
I love her deeply. But she alone is never enough. I need more, to keep the flames of my infatuation burning bright. Yet I never feel unfaithful, I just have more love to give than one can handle. The others don’t mind, they never complain, and are always happy to let me ride them too. They are the best, most loyal friends a man can have.
This V Day, do something special for your loved one(s). Bathe them. Buy them a gift (maybe something in rubber, or a nice bottle of something). But most importantly, take them out, spend the whole day together, share some beautiful views… and make it a V Day to remember.
Fuck – I forgot – I’m dead
Amerckx Bret, i’m wiping a tear from my eye as I tenderly write this…this is beautiful poetry in the ruf
It is snowing SIDEWAYS here! No V-love today, but the lady will be treated by being dropped at Fred Salmon’s for a service.
This post could not have come at a better time! Last night my wife made a comment that V Day was really a day where the man dotes on his better half…
Ah, Love:
Ha ha ha, amazing work, Brett!! I just got out the cone wrenches to tighten up a hub on one of the steeds…
In other news, first V-day as a married man. Can’t decide if this means I’ve made it & can relax or, that I have to up the level. (I was given a very simple request by the VMH actually, so I do think I’m in the clear.)
Oh yeah, I’ve had someone leave one of those cards in the spokes of a locked-up bike o’ mine.
Brilliant work brett. Nipple lube.
@Ron You are so not off the hook.
@Ron
I found that for my VMH, the most important part of the first V-day as a married couple was simply receiving a card that said ‘wife’ on it.
@KSManning
That’s a pretty lame cyclocross course, although I do like how you actually rode through part of the lake
Ahahah! Great Brett!
@KSManning I just re-read my post above and realised that I may have come across like a total fucking dick although I assure you my comment was intended to be in complete Rule #43 compliance.
Well done Brett. Such a complex piece: works on so many levels.
I’ve been so head down at work lately I don’t know if I’m drilled, bored or countersunk, never mind what the date is. Thanks to posts poetry brett I do now know I’m not a dead man. 25 and a half years married, the VMH still likes the occasion to be suitably marked (and not spent in the company of the snow and rain bike for too long). Late night shopping beckons for tomorrow’s commute home may destroy the bouquet.
Damn this ipad autocomplete…. Never trust it when making a correction.
@Souleur
I got a little weepy myself.
Brilliant stuff.
And also very insightful as to why you’re single.
I have oft wondered if Rule #12 hasn’t some primordial implication as regards monogamy.
@frank
Possibly…it definitely has implications on divorce rate!
San Valentino 2013 means also 9 years without Pantani.
@frank
C’mon Fronk, you know your love is spread thin
Mine is for sure
when it comes to my ladies, I’m a polygamist all the way, and I tell them that up front, it just makes it easier
I cannot resist Italian celeste
I do not hesitate to drill all things from Belgium named Damocles
My Pinarello girls named Paris
My phat-tyred girl known for her rigidity loves the outback trail riding is a Big-Ass-Single-Speed
and a trusty love I have was given to me by a friend is older than most of us, made in Chicago, dainty and named Le Tour
and my gravel grinder…well, we’re not on speaking terms yet
@Pedale.Forchetta
Indeed. The last nine years, the VMH and I have rejected Valentines Day on account of giving priority to mounring Pantani’s death.
Sadly, each passing year gives more context to how betrayed he was by the world he was a part of.
A few years back we did a bit on this for this day. How time flies; I remember writing this like it was yesterday.
http://www.velominati.com/tradition/in-memoriam-il-pirata-broken-hearted-saviour/
This will be my first single Valentines Day in 6 years, so the bike will get all the attention it deserves.
LBS mechanic catalog — true love.
@frank
This. Fuck yeah; this.
All true Velominati pronounce Marco’s last name properly: pa-tan-EE; never with the emphasis on the tan.
Im wondering whether a text to the wife whilst at work will suffice this year ….. Im thinking not .
She made the comment about not needing anything for V day this year, which, in “womens speak” means she wants something!
Its hard work.
I guess it isn’t enough that I bought her a Super Record gruppo a few months ago and new tires not long before that. I love her but the constant demands for upgrades can sometime take its toll on our relationship. Why can’t she be happy with what she has like her brother the town bike? The V Cuffs would have been perfect but she already has a black set…. I could spend the day at my LBS looking for that perfect something but I think what she really wants is to go for a nice ride.
Warm weather tomorrow, so I’m skipping a class to get a solid 6 hours of riding in tomorrow. Totally stoked, bike is finally getting a good cleaning after all the shitty weather.
@eightzero
Che cosa stai parlando?
@frank
“We were foaming at the mouth at the thought of Ullrich and Pantani shelling Pharmstrong out the back as they partied like it was 1998.” Good one. Really good piece.
I just saw this card online. I need to find a guy who would send something like this!
Just back from my V-date with Ms Bozzie. She was dressed up in the 8 speed Mirage and Open Pros that I bought for her and we headed for the coast. The sun warmed us as we took our time and drank in the scenery. Sure, she’s gained a bit of weight since we first started dating, but she still gives me the same sweet ride and brings a smile to my face and still turns heads whenever we pass another rider. In fact, one tried to crash our date and sit behind, checking her out from the rear. I let him know that this was a private affair, and he wasn’t welcome… we made our escape and settled back into our own easy rhythm. After two hours we headed for home and a relaxing afternoon. It was a great V Day.
@frank
What’s ‘Valentine’s Day’?
@brett
Beautiful, what length is the stem?
Bozzie on the rebound? Thought she was ‘Single’? Glad she got a V-date!
@DerHoggz
Surely a personal question, and the answer is always 8 inches
@Pedale.Forchetta
Ya. I didn’t want to mention that. Just posted the ride. Even subtly doesn’t get missed around here.
That was lovely, brett. I knocked over one of my loVers last night, on my way back to bed from a nocturnal emission. She lay there til morning. The guilt I felt upon rising was minimal. She’s done far worse to me.
@brett do you think she thinks she was ridden hard? Or was she just rolling along thinking of something else whilst you were going your hardest?
I only though experiences like this were all made up until this morning…
I saw her in the morning light as the dawn broke.. fresh, clean, the dappled light softening her lines. I got down on my hands and knees, made sure she was well lubed, then straddled her manfully. Off we went, slowly at first, taking it gently until we got warmed up, and then it was up and down, up and down, searching together for the highs and plunging into the lows.
As we approached the final peak I was nearly spent, but we surged on together, in unison, my magnificent stroke in synchrony, she responding willingly to my exertion. We crested together, exploding over the top like a spent force, I collapsed over her, spent, exhausted.
In my head I heard her slowly whisper ” sur la plaque…….”
Dear Abby,
My husband, my poor husband suffers from depression. However, it is I who is depressed now. I have learned he rides his 9 speed harder then he’s ever ridden me. The worst of it is he didnt tell me, I had to read about it on the internet. Is there any recourse?
Sincerely,
The “other” girl
@Barracuda
This.
Or this… 130.
@brett
@asyax
What is this? Fifty Shades of Gears?
another great piece, I was thinking the same thing. it’s winter over here tho and about 3 degrees, wet and windy. I love the smell of glue in the morning
@Chris
The Story of “V”
@Barracuda
Damn, that is funny! Nice work.
@Pedale.Forchetta
Amen.
Made this the day he passed away. Some people remember when Kennedy was shot, or when they heard we’d landed on the moon or when the plane hit the towers in NYC.
I remember when I heard Pantani had passed.
Some Pantani gems. The Epitome of Cool.
[dmalbum: path=”/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/frank/2013.02.14.15.30.57/2/”/]
@frank Picture #7 will always totally encompass everything I feel about Pantani. Perfect picture.