The 2011 Anti-V Moment of the Year: Paris Roubaix
While the The V Moment of the Year is the moment during the season when the sport demonstrated the most pure example of spirit of The V, the Anti-V Moment of the Year similarly acknowledges the moment in which all those things that make The V great were ignored. This is more than just cheating or climbing into the broom wagon; this is reserved for under-handed tactics, or wheel-sucking to the win, complaining about dangerous descents, canceling races for bad weather.
The Anti-V is a virus. It starts small, as a nagging doubt perhaps about form or willingness to suffer that day. It replicates and feeds on itself; giving in to doubt is easier when you’ve done it before, and the more you do it, the easier it gets. It manifests itself in an absence of those things we love most about cycling: a combination of guts, class, and panache.
Before I go any further, I’d like to point out that we had even more trouble deciding on the Anti-V moment than we did the V Moment. Bretto made the case for les Fréres Grimpeur, but couldn’t dial in on a specific incident of Anti-V and kept repeating, “Every time they looked around, or when they mounted their TT bikes!” We did the only thing we could do, and had CERN crunch the data for us. They confirmed the Schlecks spent the equivalent of three full weeks rubbernecking and nearly a quarter as much working on their time trialing – too much to mathematically isolate a single moment. Sometimes the best decision in the midst of indecision is simply to make one, and that’s exactly what I did.
At the very instant when Johan Van Summeren was doing a reverse 270 cannon ball into the deep end of the V-Pool to bring us the V Moment of 2011, Jonathan Vaughters was clutching his shoulders as he gingerly waded into the kiddie pool – dragging a handful of race favorites with him.
The race was shaping up beautifully for Garmin-Cervélo. Van Summeren had read the race and left the favorites at the Trouée to join teammate Gabriel Rasch up the road in the day’s breakaway. The plan was to keep Johan in reserve at the front while the Garmin team worked to bring the break back, giving Thor Hushovd an armchair ride to the finish with the considerable advantage of having teammates in the finale. A beautiful plan, and I love it when a plan comes together.
But Garmin’s firepower wasn’t quite enough to bridge up in time, and Faboo wasn’t thrilled about the prospect of riding into Roubaix with Thor getting a leadout from three teammates. In typical style, he took the race into his own hands and left the others to their own devices. Hushovd, Flecha, and Ballan came along for the ride and the four made huge inroads on the gap with Cancellara doing the bulk of the work.
And here the sticky tentacles of the Anti-V set in. Faboo started doubting whether he should really be hauling such a fast finisher as Hushovd up to his teammates and sat up when the gap had gone down to within arm’s reach.
At this point, Garmin’s plan wasn’t as solid as it had been a few dozen kilometers before:
- The plan hinged on domestique Vanmarcke doing the work to bridge up to the breakaway, putting four Garmin riders at the front
- Vanmarcke wasn’t closing the gap quickly enough, and was dropped by Cancellara’s acceleration
- Cancellara was getting the job done, but was unwilling to do the last bit of work to close the break down completely
The plan was in need of some quick-thinking to maintain the upper hand, and everyone knows driving while strategizing is dangerous. So, for safety reasons, Vaughters called in Garmin’s pocket Timid Tactician: His Turtleneck Sweater. New plan:
- Double-dip by telling Fabian that Thor can’t work because he has a teammate up the road, despite the fact that his team had been doing the chasing in the first place
- Tell Fabian to wait for the slow guy behind who couldn’t keep up and wasn’t bridging quickly enough, so he can take over for Fabian, saving Thor
- Instruct Thor to sit back and refuse pulls
Cancellara, Hushovd and Vaughters all had their hand in making this the Anit-V Moment of the year, but Vaughters takes the bulk of the blame not only because his was inflexible and unimaginative thinking, but because he was playing both sides: the rider up front can’t work if he’s got a rider coming up, or the rider coming up can’t work because he’s got a rider up front. Pick one.
But worst of all, there is nothing more Anti-V than two riders within a chance of winning riding along gesturing to each other as they both refuse to take a pull for fear of dragging the other to the win. Certainly, a rider must be sure not to do too much work and place themselves at a disadvantage, but this should never come at the risk of losing the opportunity to win the race in the first place; I’m sure we can all agree it is much more in the spirit of the V to fight and get beaten into second place than to never fight at all and throw your chance away. In this, Cancellara and Hushovd each had a hand in the pie, but Vaughters and his Sweater were were the masterminds behind the stalemate.
We truly love what Vaughters is trying to do with Garmin by making it their mission to race clean, but racing clean is no excuse for uncorking an entire case of Vintage 2011 Anti-V. Vaughters races his team like they are weak with nary a chance to win, when in fact they are one of the strongest teams in the sport. It is time to wrap the bars in white tape, set aside the underdog tactics, and start racing like leaders. And by all means, fire the Sweater.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cEV1l9i1ec[/youtube]
I think there is a lot to be said for @Gianni‘s argument and I’m still not convinced by the Schlecks, even Andy’s win on the Galibier.
That said, I’m not expert on bike racing or even fashion for that matter but JV is just trying too hard. I don’t know whether it’s a result of having Millar on the team who seems to make it look effortless but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of JV when he wasn’t completely overdressed.
At the end of the day though, regardless of the racing or the clothes, those are cunt’s sideburns so +1 on the A-VMOY
Completely off topic, but it made me chortle. Maybe a mini V-moment on the grounds that it’s not often that pro riders end up rubber necking,
The guy is walking across Australia in that for a kids charity. Chapeaux.
If I had to bet, something high falutin’ Italian, like a brunello. Those other wines, even without bottle age, ain’t less than 100$/pop -at least it used to be that way… Hope the sponsors caught wind of that pic, they may now have an idea where the $ went…
@Chris
Indeed, I saw a video clip and the temp on the motorbike’s dash was 42 degrees C – that’s 107F! Looks like Mr Orange and white jersey could sweat off a few pounds though.
@frank
my goodness, my 12 000 euro pinarello! @26sec
http://www.rtve.es/alacarta/videos/vuelta-ciclista-a-espana/impresionante-caida-parte-bici-mitad/1181366/
he is even smiling @20sec!! that s because he will receive a new bike…
@Gianni
tweede = second. (you heard this in the clip?) yeah, but at least you know only one rider was better… this year, watch Chavanel in the Klassiekers. and Guillaume Van Keirsbulck, his young team mate (21 years old!!) and Sep Vanmarcke (Team Garmin, 24)
@Gianni
Well said!
@frank
Apart from fluid thinking and the ability to quickly adapt to the quickly changing circumstances of the race.
@Chris
Awesome, the levity is appreciated.
Speaking of Anti V – has anyone seen this:Contador ban
Seems to be flying under the radar
@Gerard
Interesting, Is the Spannish Federations decision? Or isn’t out of their hands and with the CAS
@Gerard
That’s from a year ago. It’s the ban that the Spaniards imposed, then promptly lifted under political pressure.
@Nate
Don’t I feel like a twat now!
If I’d known all I had to do to get an orange cog was to admit that I’m a twat, I’d hav e done it years ago!
Can’t bring myself to call it an urchin now.
Google tells me this
Bikezilla interview with Vaughters
Bicycling Magazine
Velonews critical report
In a year when Veino bought a race, this looks like a weak criticism. Garmin had a hand in covering all of the moves: Vaughters after the fact claims he didn’t want JVS to attack till Carrefore because that would be the place that suited his strengths, and if a competitor pulled up to the team car and claimed they wouldn’t pull to close down a break, which contained your rider, you could call that negative racing if you want.
@Chris
Congrats, orange is orange. Who cares if you stumbled once or twice on the way up?
@Chris
Hell, you aren’t even the bloke who first posted about it!
@Nate
Not ads much as me Chris lol – this is what happens when I work in the future I get my years all F@@ked up! :O)
I blame riding in the snow for my loss of brain power!
@Oli
Are you agreeing with me? Well are you?
Dammit got me angry now. Huh. Woke up, not caring at all, now I’m all spoiling for a fight. With Oli no less. Dear Merckx.
@minion
Put down your dukes, I am agreeing with you!
The universe must be upside down. Oli agreeing, I have an Orange v symbol for arguing with the site’s founder, and I’m trying to defend JV’s tactics after Flanders. Madness!
@JC Belgium
Thanks, I thought it was more cursing I should learn.
@minion
And thanks minion, those articles confirm to me JVS was a worthy winner, Vaughters did the right thing and Frank’s man-love of the Schlecks has clouded his otherwise brilliant mind.
I think the point is being missed. I could be wrong but for me the anti V-ness of it all is not the tactics or if JV was right or not. It’s the whole little affair of the chitchat at the car. Faboo cries to JV that Thor won’t pull, JV probably in a very creepy spineless way defends Thor..Thor pathetically like a little kid says nothing and has JV talk for him. The whole thing is pathetic. That’s what is anti v. That everyone is whinging instead of riding.
made all the more undignified given the Rainbow Jersey….
JV can say whatever the hell he wants to Cancellara. He has no obligation to do any of it. If I was in JV’s shoes, and Cancellara came to the car and told me he wasn’t going to drag Hushovd to the finish line, I’d laugh in his face and tell him he’d just lost the race. Of course that might be the best example of why I shouldn’t be a DS, but there you go.
I lie like a scalded politician when I’m racing to come 19th out of 25. Whatever was said between JV, Thor and Cancellara doesn’t mean much in the long run.
@Dr C
Exactly!!!
@JC Belgium
I have seen pros crash over and over and over and over again…yet it always amazes me that they just shake it off and climb back on. Those of you who have crashed at race pace know why…
@Oli
Exactly. If he had done that, there wouldn’t have been an Anti-V moment!
@Chris
Wrong year…?
@paolo
A plus fucking one. Exactly.
From the second paragraph (I don’t think anyone reads the articles?)
@minion, @Gianni
Its easy to change the story after the fact and backpedal. His comments during, immediately after, and then a while after the race gradually changed to best reflect the team. What happened on the road – and what the Anti-V Moment is about – is a different matter altogether.
My Merckx its good to have an healthy disagreement out here again, after all the agreeing that’s been going on around here lately.
@wiscot
The hot day was stage 1, this pic was taken on the way back from stage 2 where the weather was much kinder.
Regarding the dude in orange & white, he’d be one of the regular punters, the upside of the TDU being based out of the one place in the middle of the city is that for the stages that finish reasonably close to town (e.g. stage 2) the pros generally just ride back to town & are happy to cruise back chatting with the fans that are doing the same.
I can’t really come up with another example of an anti – V moment for the past 12 months to be honest. Flanders, perhaps but there’s nothing wrong with being beaten on the day. Veino’s LBL win was in 2010,
@frank
@Chris
To repeat one of the comments from Cyclingtips, where that photo was originally posted, the guy in orange is telling the stormtrooper, “These aren’t the cyclists you are looking for. They can go about their business. Move along.”
And Brett, I believe you have created a new lexicon entry.
“Dirty Schleck Love”: the illogical hero-worship of any cyclist who has yet to make the most of his ability (and said cyclist might also be a little scared). It is the velomotion that daren’t speak its name.
@frank
I disagree.
Dammit pushed post rather than review. Ahem, in the spirit of things, to Mr Fronk,
No its not.
@marcus
Alright, into the Lexi with that, then!
Vaughters sucks for a couple of reasons. Fronck hits the nail on the head for his race strategy… the other is the fucking kit…argyle just sucks the hind tit. While we are in the business of personal attacks, if he is going to wear sideburns like that with any frequency he ought to be an American Civil War hero (can you say Burnside?) or about 100lbs heavier and six percent body fat. The guy is a twat.
@marcus
(Little known secret: it is Fränk Schleck I like so much, not Andy. I just like Andy because he’s Fränk’s brother. If I was going to pose in a Quickstep add with one of them, it would be Fränk.)
@Anjin-san
Ha!
@frank
would you be the big spoon or the little spoon?
@frank
Another lexi entry maybe?
“I would definitely pose in a Quickstep ad with that guy!”
@Gianni
@frank
So Gianni should be sure to never take you up on an invitation to go fishing. Or Frank, are you Fredo?
douchebaggery.
I remember watching this and screaming at the TV! My family thought I was a madman to say the least.
@Gianni
+1!!! Totally agree with everything that you are saying here. Don’t get me wrong, JV is such a massive twatwaffle but I think that the win the Anti-V for either their whinging about descents and/or their total inexcusable finish at L-B-L.
A lay person watching Roubaix would not have been able to discern the asshatery that may have been JV that day. But anybody watching LBL with any clue that cycling is a team sport would have known the Schlecks were pussies that day. It was Frandy, in Liege, with the Anti-V.
@frank
And another thing to consider is that no matter how twatwafflish JV’s strategy was up to the point when Sparticus makes his break and only Thor and Flecha could follow, from that point on, there was NO WAY that Thor should work or do anything. Ol’Sparti bitchin about it was probably the most Anti-V thing about the whole mess.
Also, WTF is up with Ballan anyways. Does that guy ever take a fuckin pull? What excuse did he have for not pulling? Missed his last EPO dose or blood transfusion???
@marko
Loving the Cluedo reference. A+1
@marko
Ok, so Marko, Gianni and I all agree that the Schlecks are the Anti-V winners. How the fuck did this post even get put up? Did we not vote on this? Are we not a democracy any more? Is Frank Der Fuhrer now?
@brett
Et Tu Bretto. Sad day indeed…