Author Archive | frank

Misty Mountain Hop

The Nine Kit

by / / 34 posts

Riding in bad weather is an incredible experience assuming you don’t fall off and break your hip, or you don’t get hit by a car. Those realities aside, the weather adds a dimension to the ride that you simply don’t have on a sunny day, lovely as they are. The other day I was riding early…

A V.V Magnitude Awesome Quake. Photo via monsieurbloodpipes

V Point V Magnitude Awesome

by / / 45 posts

People, please grab hold of your butts: we are experiencing a V.V magnitude Awesome Quake, and it is sporting a totally rad lid. Further instructions will be provided. Have a pleasant day.

A ride for the people, the Sean Kelly Cyclosportive


by / / 92 posts

My first bike was a Sears Moonlight Special. It was literally a piece of shit – figuratively. I mean, it would only “literally” be a piece of shit if shit was made of sand-filled steel tubes salvaged from the plumbing of the local sewage facility. Which it might have been, but I simply don’t have…

The icon of an iconic color gives a lesson in Casually Deliberate. <sup>1</sup>


by / / 81 posts

In grade school, a teacher once asked me to name my favorite color, a query to which I responded with the only logical answer for any prepubescent boy surrounded by scary girls in a small classroom: “Celeste.” “No, you have to pick a real color.” While the rest of the world believes the most iconic color in Cycling…

This helps make a bike special.

On Rule #12: The Bike #1 Paradox

by / / 58 posts

The only parents who proclaim to have a favorite child are the ones who have only one; all the other ones pretend they don’t have a favorite because they are each “different and special in their own way”. It’s complete bollocks, that, and we all know every parent does in fact have a favorite, but we…

Sadly we won't be seeing this going down the road...

Velominati Super Prestige: VVomens World Championship Road Race 2015

by / / 117 posts

What can be said about the worlds that hasn’t been said here already? We’re all abuzz over here in America, laying in wait for the biggest event we’ll ever host on our crap, frost-heaved and pot-holed roads. The route itself appears to be very well laid out but apparently the road surface is so bad…

Hinault keeps the guns clean.

Cover High Before You Cover Low

by / / 102 posts

With the transitions of seasons occurring all over the world as Summer shifts to Fall in the Northern Hemisphere and Winter to Spring in the Southern, we are faced with the seasonal challenge of how to kit up properly for volatile and variable weather conditions. One of the most common mistakes made, apart from overdressing,…

We all know this look. And we all love it.

Wet and Wild

by / / 31 posts

I have been spoiled rotten this summer as I alluded to last week and was evidenced through the flatness of the tires on my Nine Bike. I rode more this summer than I have in recent memory and I rode in the rain exactly one time; @snowgeek wondered if it might rain and I scoffed at the…

The chiselled guns of a Cyclist

The Cyclist

by / / 89 posts

Being away from the bike is agony. Even for the day, while I’m at work, my mind swims about, thinking about my next ride. I worry that I won’t be home early enough to get the ride in that I’d planned – or worse yet – ride at all. I agonize over my decision not to ride…

The Funnybike

In Memoriam: The Funny Bike

by / / 78 posts

Summer, it appears, has been snatched abruptly from Seattle’s grasp, like a squeak toy from a puppy’s mouth. A week ago, we were setting record temperatures which were sadly playing their role in producing the worst wildfire season the state has ever seen. On the plus side, I haven’t ridden my Nine Bike in so long both its…

The enigmatic Bradley Wiggins

The Curious Case of Bradley Wiggins

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Brad Wiggins is an enigma. There is a lot about him that makes him easy to dislike. That mopey, Pete Townshend look on his face and mop hairdo are the low-hanging fruit in this case, with the length of his socks being there to round out the podium in a close third. Also, he dropped Bont…

A different breed.

World Champion

by / / 49 posts

The Worlds are going to be played out on US roads, which is fantastic and the last time it happened we witnessed a great race with a worthy winner. But the Worlds has lost a lot of its prestige since moving from late August to its current position in late September. It’s only a month’s difference, but it…

Meanwhile in Spain...

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2015

by / / 315 posts

This is the best Cycling photo in the history of time. If you’re wondering why, then we’re probably not looking at the same photo. I am pretty sure the guy playing guitar is the Dos Equis guy. Anyway, nothing that cool will happen during this year’s Vuelta, although we’ll get to watch more lightbulb-humping, if that’s any consolation…

There is a certain freedom to be found along this path.

The Liberty of Suffering

by / / 38 posts

The bicycle has always been a symbol of Freedom. Not just for us as children, extending the boundaries of our stomping grounds by an order of magnitude, but for humans from a societal standpoint. From the first days of its invention, we have sought out its limits, delighting in the process of finding the upper boundary…

13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18. That's a corncob Popeye would make a pipe of.

In Memoriam: The Straight Block

by / / 150 posts

Disc brakes and 1x drivetrains. These are the sort of things that belong on mountainbikes, are questionable on cross bikes, and should make an immediate trip to the rubbish bin when it comes to road bikes. Change for the sake of change; gimmickry masquerading as innovation. And to make matters worse, the appearance of 11-speed blocks has killed…

Sometimes you're the hammer, sometimes you're the nail.

The Hammer and the Nail

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Sometimes you’re the hammer, sometimes you’re the nail. I was a cheapy little Ikea one today. It was terrible. – Geraint Thomas It is strange, the workings of a the Cyclist as an organism. We are of three autonomous parts, Head, Body, and Legs. In the short term, there is little that fundamentally changes between…

The dreaded slow leak

The Race of Truth

by / / 70 posts

We’ve all felt it; going over a bump or through a corner and feeling that unmistakable bit of slop in the handling that sends your heart straight to your feet. Hoping you’re wrong, you bounce the tire as you roll along, confirming you’ve got a puncture. But it’s not really flat – not yet, at…

Rule #41 Violation forces Tour Champ to swap bikes.

On Rule #41: Garbage Collectors

by / / 80 posts

Look, people. We’re not making this up; we’re mainlining this shit straight from the rivers of Truth flowing down the slopes of Mount Velomis. They draw from the history and culture of the sport, and from good common sense. They make sense, in fact, even if the Keepers don’t necessarily know why at the time…

Off the back is the worst place to be. Photo: Tim De Waele <a href="" target="_blank"></a>

Reverence: The Ghosts of 2am

by / / 65 posts

The Prophet had never been dropped by anyone in a race-threatening situation during his entire Grand-Tour career. But he was dropped on this, a relatively minor climb to Pra Loup due to a combination of circumstances involving a chest injury, overconfidence, and savvy Frenchmen who could read the road surface well enough to understand what side of…

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