The aroma. The taste. The ritual of the preparation, and the anticipation. It’s more than just a drink.
Coffee is an integral part of cycling and cyclists lifestyles. But, like Campy versus Shimano, or white socks versus black, the way we imbibe the magic bean can be just as polarising.
We received an email from a reader with a suggestion for The Rules. Rob infers that anyone partaking in a soy-based brew, or a ‘lite’ milk additive, should be ceremonially beaten. ”Harsh but fair” he believes, such as we always imply with The Rules.
Already I am receiving unflattering, downright tempestuous emails from my fellow Keepers regarding my soy intake confession. Yes, I unashamedly admit to this ‘foam pas’ and will accept any abuse like a man. A soy-drinking man, dammit!
But no matter how you enjoy your bean, there’s one thing for certain; coffee is good. Some say it should only be consumed black, sans sugar, in a ceramic cup. Others, like Rob, suggest it can be enhanced with a small amount of milk, i.e macchiato. While everyone has different tastes, I’m sure most of us would agree that caramel, butterscotch and excessive amounts of foam, sprinklings and flavourings have no place in any cup.
And personally, I feel that the very act of sitting in a cafe in Lycra is a little more embarrassing than drinking soy. Call me a hippy, call me lactose intolerant, call me soft, but at least I’ll never be a ‘cafe racer’. Not in my own town anyway, maybe in Belgium…
Hm…I’m not sure how you defend drinking soy; sounds a lot like defending the “superior” design of a recumbent.
And, as the Dutch say, they’ll let anything pass in Belgium.
You mean like Boonen passing Dekker, or PVP passing Boogerd?
And we all know Cervelos are two-wheeled recumbents…
@brett
I get what you’re going at, but I don’t think Boonen and PVP ever rode in the same race as Dekker and Boogerd, and – if they did – which race it was would depend on who passed who. I don’t think Boonen is a man for Amstel.
My point was that in Belgium, it’s anarchy. Those people are crazy and they’ll let you do whateverthefuck you want.
And speaking of recumbents, I have to ask: do you ever spill your soy coffee on yourself as you’re climbing aboard yours? Does it ever get on your pony-tail or leave a stain on your hemp t-shirt?
Well, they were the only two Dutch riders of any note I could think of. And I was more referring to Thomas, not Erik, who could actually ride.
My pony tail was last spotted in the early 90′s, and the only hemp products I endorsed weren’t employed on the outside of my body!
@brett
Well played, good sir. Well played.
Feel free to beat me thoroughly – I don’t drink coffee at all. And I live in Seattle – well, the Seattle area anyway. Nope, not a drop. Never liked it, never will.
I do drink gallons of iced tea however. Sometimes even hot tea – with lemon and honey – like some sort of old lady.
Maybe I should move to England?
Awesome Dan O, way to take the heat off me!
1. Legs not shaved
2. Massive Beard
3. Hemp on the inside
4. Soy milk in my coffee
Bring it on Nancy.
Nice post btw.
@Dan O
Because I know you commute close to 365 days a year in wind, rain, and ice, I am going to cut you some slack. But if you so much as BREATHE the word “crumpets”, we’re going to have words.
@Marko
1. I thought we discussed this. This better change come summertime.
2. I thought we discussed this. This better change come summertime.
3. Better than on the outside!
4. Given 1-3, I’m not surprised.
@Frank
365 days a year? I wish. I do get some commuting time in though.
Crumpets? Not on the menu. I eat way too many Clif bars however.
@Dan O
Well, I’ll let it go on the commuting days, but if you ever eat a crumpet, I’m not kidding…
I was always a PowerBar guy myself, but I’ve recently been moving over to the Cliff bar…seems much more palatable somehow. Especially in winter when it gets cold, it seems the PowerBar becomes a brick. Hell, I bet you forge a shelter out of them if you had enough frozen bars.
Snickers.
@Marko
Do they satisfy you?
@frank
Sure do. Granted they’re not as “balanced” as an energy bar they do the trick for me, taste way better IMO, and are half the price.
@Marko
Trudat. Plus, they are chocolate. Everyone knows how Science says chocolate is rad.
What’s wrong with crumpets?
What have crumpets got to do with drinking coffee? The only things to be eaten with coffee are cake or croissant. Crumpets have no place in cafe society, they must only be eaten at home; with butter, jam and a mug of tea.
@Jarvis
Okay, good. Frankly, I prefer golden syrup on them, but with tea at home. Good ’nuff. I was afraid there was a larger, overarching rule about crumpets I didn’t know about.
@steampunk
there is: it is that you don’t do anything as perverted as put golden syrup on your crumpets. Freak.
@Steampunk
@Jarvis
Hey, I’m in on putting golden anything on my crumpet!
@Jarvis
Oh: it’s on! This is going to get ugly fast.
@Steampunk, @Jarvis
Please help us Americans out. I can’t remember if “tea” translates from English into American as “Coffee” or “Beer”.
@Rob
I can’t figure this out. Are you English or American? Or is it the same as my Dutch-ness? Dutch is my first language and that’s why my name is pronounced like the gay guy in Father of the Bride, but I was raised here in the You Ess of Aye.
@frank
“American” and “aestheticism” don’t have much in common, do they? Tea is the stuff Americans threw into Boston Harbor (thereby making palatable only to Americans).
Re. coffee: I’ll take an espresso, but none of this after ride nonsense. A new café just opened down the road. Named Domestique, and yes: proprietor is a cyclist and master roaster. Life is good.
@Steampunk
Indeed. Espresso pre-ride is de riguer (God I love French). Post-ride = pub and a nice, cool (cellar-temperature, not refrigerated) ale.
@frank
Oh, I hate to do this: It’s de rigueur. Sorry: I’m a douche (another French word.
I’m really sorry. That was bad form. Chalk it up to a bad week coming to a close. Solo hill repeats at dark-thirty tomorrow morning. Will add an extra one by way of penance.
@Steampunk I love that – not Catholic but it seems that this could be a great way to get the lapsed Cognosetti back on the straight and narrow. Penance riding – hill repeats, telephone pole sprint repeats and best of all motor pacing at dawn.
And hey in case you had not noticed “Douche” is an accepted vocab word here with no stigma attached.
@frank Fronkster, I’m nothing, maybe mid-atlantic? Born in New Hampshire but spent way to much time in London but now I am getting a Lawn Giland accent! So its tea and crumpets when I’m not having double espressos.
@Frank (or is that Fronk?)
I don’t think I can start to explain, but I’ll go with neither coffee or beer. Tea is difficult to make well and even the British can’t agree on how it should be made or indeed have much ability in making consistently good tea.
@Steampunk
Oh, I would be living in that cafe, as long os the coffee was up to standard.
@All
while the subject of nationality crops up, neither myself of my velomihottie are English, we are Welsh. Ta.