The Dark Side

Spinal Tap Black
Spinal Tap Black

White is a troublesome color; hard to keep clean. I have a white dress shirt that I never wear because even if I manage not to spill on the front of it, the cuffs and collar will look crap by the end of the day regardless. I mean, I can keep from eating something all day, but I can’t keep from drinking coffee or wine, and before very long some of it is going on the shirt, right were people check out my man-boobs.

I can’t keep my dress clothes clean, the ones I wear to my office. That’s a clean business, going to the office. And Cycling is a dirty business, even on sunny days there is a road grit and chain grease to contend with. And our feet and hands get the worst of it. Who in their right mind would ride with white socks and bar tape?

In my younger days, I started a website called ControlFreak, for which the tagline was “a term used by lazy people to describe someone with standards.” Obviously my writing skills had some room to grow and I was also too young to understand the practical complications of having things like “standards”. Nevertheless, I am proud of the sentiment. It was a first (malnourished) seed of Velominati; its uncompromising attitude built a fiber of the vein that runs through our heritage in this community. In the ControlFreak sensibility, white socks and bar tape are for those of us with standards of cleanliness; they are for the aesthetic steadfast who are willing to invest both the time and inventory to maintain a matching set of curtains and drapes. Black is for those who are too lazy to keep a clean house.

My Number #1 has always had white bars. The other bikes can have black tape because white bar tape is for leaders; Bike #1 is Alpha, the others are Beta – no matter how much I love them.

So why is it that I have been attracted by the blackness of my handlebars every time I unwrap the tape from them? I’m not talking about the Betas, I’m talking about my Alpha: my Veloforma Strada iR. It was a time of turmoil, maybe. Perhaps some unrest in the Force, where the Dark Side grew in strength. Or maybe I enjoyed too many Recovery Ales that day. The event was too long ago and too poorly documented for anyone to be certain, but the fact is, I wrapped Bike #1’s bars in black tap.

Let me say that again in a separate paragraph: I wrapped Bike #1’s bars in black tap.

No one else. Not the guy down the shop because he didn’t have anything else. Not the VMH. Not my sister. Me.

And I loved it.

The bike was so stealth I felt like I was riding a Sith. Actually, maybe not – I don’t think a Sith would stand for that sort of thing. Maybe I felt like I was riding a Sith Speeder.

But something was missing. I didn’t feel right. I felt a few centimeters off-center, so one night I picked up a new roll of fizik microtex and rewrapped the bars in white.

It felt good to go back, like taking a shower after a long camping trip. Or brushing your teeth after a night on the piss. There was something visceral about it. I brought the bike up to the bedroom and leaned her (gently) against the wall so I could gaze at her as I fell asleep. It felt good to know I had come back to my center. I had come back to expecting more of myself. I would keep my bar tape clean.

Darth Sidious said, “If one is to understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects.”

Just because he’s a jerk doesn’t mean he’s wrong. Just so long as we find our way back to The Path.

That night, I slept soundly.

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184 Replies to “The Dark Side”

  1. @Buck Rogers

    @frank FUCK .. and I thought that I was ballzy and bad for posting pictures of naked Sith Women!!!

    That was some chutzpah right there.

    Buck, get real FFS. Nobody has bigger balls than you.

  2. @PeakInTwoYears

    @tessar I considered that perspective, too. For me personally, copying a frame design is one thing, but then copying the mark as well is quite another. VF didn’t go into business selling fake Cervelos. And, from what vanishingly small amount I know about frame building, it isn’t a simple matter of using the same mold.

    I agree, there are two sides here: One is buying an open-mold frame, which is perfectly legitimate. Hong-Fu, Deng-Fu and several other factories or first-level resellers sell them, either raw black or with their own brand (“Avenger”? Seriously?!) – and the second is copying the logos and branding of both Veloforma and Velominati, and applying it to your said bike without permission or payment.

    However, considering the astonishing similarity between the Strada iR and the FM066-SL – claimed weight, shapes, specs and geometry – I find some of Veloforma’s claims regarding “their” frame a bit dubious, especially considering $3000 for a frameset is custom stainless territory, or some top-brand frames that were developed in-house (even if they end up manufactured in the same country). There’s also a fair bit of stolen intellectual property in the frames themselves even if they haven’t committed it themselves – you can break their track frame into sections and tell exactly what frame they were derived from.

  3. @tessar

    I am very willing–eager, even–to be educated, but isn’t it true that two CF frames of identical geometry will vary in performance according to the materials used and how the layup is done?

    That said, I’m all in favor of creativity and fresh design and rewarding people for that kind of work.

  4. While I am not a regular poster here so take this for what it is worth.

    I do agree that it was not cool to infringe on the Velominati and Veloforma say trade or copy rights.

    But I too think that Veloforma’s claims regarding their frame are almost to coincidental with the fact that the Hung Fu frame is identical.

    I am not saying that Veloforma’s frames are not legit, I know nothing of them or where their frames are made, but with the identical frame coming out of china one has to raise the question.

    Also as of now Veloforma’s website does not work?

    Like I said take ti fir what it is worth, not making any claims here

  5. @wilburrox

    @PeakInTwoYears I gotta say, I respect that, first, ya picked up on the BS and second, that you called out the BS in a particularly respectable (probably far more than deserved) way. Props due ya. Cheers

    Seconded. Very nice job there, @PeakInTwoYears. Also, your answer to @SamFromTex re ‘deserving’ a quality bike was spot on, I thought. My hat, sir, is sincerely doffed to you.

  6. @ErikdR Thank you. I hope we can meet some day, so that you can learn what a mildly revolting little shit I really am.

  7. @DeKerr

    @Dan_R

    And just because nobody asked, here is a picture of our newly branded CR Wheel Works Carrefour wheels. These two set of wheel are being raced in the European CX season by a Canadian nicknamed “Hot Sauce.”

    Take my money… just take my fucking money!

    Oh wait… I don’t have any right now.

    Mine too, Demo rides destined for South Australia down on the Fleurieu Peninsula penciled in any time soon Dan ??

  8. @PeakInTwoYears

    To get back to your earlier question, the Fizik tape that seems to be popular around this corner of the web is what they now call “Classic Superlight”.  Or “Superlight Classic”; I forget which.  Pretty sure Frank has a ‘reverence” article on it some years back.

    That said, I have it on the old LeMond that I brought out to ride with y’all and while it looks fabulous and cleans up easily, it is slippery when it gets wet and not in the good 1980’s-hair-metal-band kind of way.  Given the general rain around here, consider yourself appropriately warned.

  9. @PeakInTwoYears

    @ErikdR Thank you. I hope we can meet some day, so that you can learn what a mildly revolting little shit I really am.

    You’re welcome – and yes, that could be interesting. The experience would probably be sort of mutual, I reckon, apart from the fact that, at 6′ 4″ and 180 pounds, most would consider me a revolting big shit. I’m also an old, untalented and kinda fat guy on a nice bike, to quote the post you wrote to @SamFromTex. (That story certainly rang a bell – i.e..sounded very similar to my own)

  10. @Chris Have a look at the Veloforma website and compare the copy with the real thing, and the copy isn’t that great, the quality isn’t there. The copy’s paint is glossy, and yet the Veloforma appears matt. At the end of the day supporting those that make fakes is supporting organised crime.

  11. @DragoRosso

    Gentlemen. My apologies in all regards.

    I had not considered all the aspects of this paint scheme which you have all pointed out. I will not try to defend this decision with any form of argument.

    Please excuse my ignorance, rudeness, disrespect, or any other offence. It was not intended in any way shape or form.

    The offending paint will be removed as soon as possible. This I promise. I do respect this community for what it bring to the love of cycling.

    apologies for derailing this thread as well. Have a good night.

    Appreciate the apology sir. Good luck going forward!

  12. @Dan_R

    And just because nobody asked, here is a picture of our newly branded CR Wheel Works Carrefour wheels. These two set of wheel are being raced in the European CX season by a Canadian nicknamed “Hot Sauce.”

    @DragoRosso I am happy to hear that you will be fixing the frame set. Great colours and a nice idea, but Veloforma is a great little company that works hard to distinguish itself in a very competitive market. As a note, I get asked to have wheels painted with the Velominati “V” all the time. I kindly tell my customers that while I will do custom paint and even no paint, I do not do other peoples logo unless granted express permission. In fact, Frank and I have gone through a few different designs that have been painted on various rims sets, which have not been built due to design flaws or “it looked good on paper” or just plain decision changes. These extra rims, I keep aside for repainting. Or if built up, they go into destructive testing. hehehe, yeah it can fun…

    I’d suggest keeping the colours and going with a dragon theme finish. Now that could be cool.

    If those wheels were women, they’d make men do terrible things they’d later regret.

  13. Does anyone think a set of Dan’s wheels would look any good on this bike?  Please say no, having a hard enough time as it is ….

     

     

     

    @wiscot

    @Dan_R

     

     

    And just because nobody asked, here is a picture of our newly branded CR Wheel Works Carrefour wheels. These two set of wheel are being raced in the European CX season by a Canadian nicknamed “Hot Sauce.”

    @DragoRosso I am happy to hear that you will be fixing the frame set. Great colours and a nice idea, but Veloforma is a great little company that works hard to distinguish itself in a very competitive market. As a note, I get asked to have wheels painted with the Velominati “V” all the time. I kindly tell my customers that while I will do custom paint and even no paint, I do not do other peoples logo unless granted express permission. In fact, Frank and I have gone through a few different designs that have been painted on various rims sets, which have not been built due to design flaws or “it looked good on paper” or just plain decision changes. These extra rims, I keep aside for repainting. Or if built up, they go into destructive testing. hehehe, yeah it can fun…

    I’d suggest keeping the colours and going with a dragon theme finish. Now that could be cool.

    If those wheels were women, they’d make men do terrible things they’d later regret.

     

     

    @Dan_R

     

     

    And just because nobody asked, here is a picture of our newly branded CR Wheel Works Carrefour wheels. These two set of wheel are being raced in the European CX season by a Canadian nicknamed “Hot Sauce.”

    Take my money… just take my fucking money!

    Oh wait… I don’t have any right now.

    You know, it’s kinda weird. I could buy those wheels right now, but I feel like equipment of that extreme niceness (much like the Veloforma or half the other stuff you crazy lot seem to have) is something I haven’t earned. I’m too fat, too slow, too inflexible. Mostly too slow. It’s Dungeons and Dragons logic, I suppose: I need to gain a few more levels of Cyclist before I can pull that sword out of the stone.

    Dan, those are some badass looking wheels. Cool carbon weave and nice original graphics. Did Winnipeg Cycle Chick have a hand in these?

  14. @frank

    @juliana

    If you have a full time job, three children and a husband who sometimes wants some attention as well, you go for black.

    Get the man a bike and problem solved.

    For the record, the child protection authorities will not care that you left your kids behind on the first hill of your ‘family ride’ because you had good legs…

  15. @therealpeel

    @frank

    @juliana

    If you have a full time job, three children and a husband who sometimes wants some attention as well, you go for black.

    Get the man a bike and problem solved.

    For the record, the child protection authorities will not care that you left your kids behind on the first hill of your ‘family ride’ because you had good legs…

    What if the kids have smart phones with GPS so they can find their way home? All kinds of life lessons on deck in that scenario. Amazingly enough, I don’t have kids . . .

  16. @Frank

    “Who in their right mind would ride with white socks and bar tape?”

    Love my white bar tape… Socks too. I used to resist it based on the effort required to keep it clean. I gave in because I love the way it looks, and it’s not that hard to keep clean. Besides, any excuse to replace the tape because nothing compares to the pure white shine of new white tape.

  17. @Owen

    What’s wrong with white bikes? Just because the only matching seat color is white and the only matchin tape color is white and they need to be lovingly bathed damn near weekly?

    What are you talking about? Bikes are bathed daily – post ride.

  18. @Owen

    @Puffy That’s a good way to wear your components prematurely. A wipe-down, sure, but not a bath.

    Yes. I consider my bike one of the best around town and it only gets a wash every 2 to 3 months — or after each No.9 ride. The drivetrain is always kept clean by wiping down with Motorex.

  19. @Gianni Yeah, she did have a hand in doing the graphics. Cost a bundle but it was worth it I think!

    @unversio

    @Barracuda

    @wiscot

    @GogglesPizano

    Did I miss anybody? Sorry if I did. Yeah they came out great. If you are interested, I will be doing a pre-production sale, like last year. $200 off the retail and that will be in Canadian funds, so it should stretch most people’s dollars. Just trying to update everything on the web shop….slow going

  20. @Dan_R

    @Gianni Yeah, she did have a hand in doing the graphics. Cost a bundle but it was worth it I think!

    @unversio

    @Barracuda

    @wiscot

    @GogglesPizano

    Did I miss anybody? Sorry if I did. Yeah they came out great. If you are interested, I will be doing a pre-production sale, like last year. $200 off the retail and that will be in Canadian funds, so it should stretch most people’s dollars. Just trying to update everything on the web shop….slow going

    The look and design is spot on, well done.

    Canadian to the AUD at the moment nearly on par.

  21. @PeakInTwoYears

    @tessar

    I am very willing-eager, even-to be educated, but isn’t it true that two CF frames of identical geometry will vary in performance according to the materials used and how the layup is done?

    That said, I’m all in favor of creativity and fresh design and rewarding people for that kind of work.

    In theory, yes – differences in construction should result in different performance, at least in the lab. That’s where all the “3% lighter, 7% laterally stiffer and 113% more vibration damping” marketing brochures come from. In practice, however, people can’t even tell apart the much larger differences.

    About a month ago, a guy on a different forum – experienced coach and Cat 1 roadie – debated between a Cervelo R3 (the pretty choice) or an S3 (the aero choice). He set out to test whether the claims that the S3 is “less comfortable” are true, or rather whether he could spot that difference. He rigged a ridiculous full-face helmet with sheets of cardboard to hide the bike, locked them in identical gears and had the shop mechanic switch between the bikes at will, and swap the same wheelset between the two. After 6 runs on a rough-paved loop, the error rate was 66% – admittedly not a high sample, but goes to show that the differences, if any, are not that significant.

  22. @tessar

    Thanks for that link. Very innerestin’. I guess I’m not completely surprised that we make up bullshit about what we think our bikes are doing underneath us when we can’t tell one frame or wheelset from another in a blind test. Making up bullshit about minutiae must be 60% of our conscious activity, generally.

    Best part of that article: the guy who worked for Zipp and conducted all these blind tests ends his remarks by saying “After doing this for a long time, my criteria for my personal bike is based almost entirely on paint and people behind the company who made it, everything else is components and tire pressure.”

  23. @Barracuda

    @DeKerr

    @Dan_R

    And just because nobody asked, here is a picture of our newly branded CR Wheel Works Carrefour wheels. These two set of wheel are being raced in the European CX season by a Canadian nicknamed “Hot Sauce.”

    Take my money… just take my fucking money!

    Oh wait… I don’t have any right now.

    Mine too, Demo rides destined for South Australia down on the Fleurieu Peninsula penciled in any time soon Dan ??

    get.in.fucking.line son! Don’t be thinking they’ll make their way down south without some shakedown time in the hills first!

  24. @azryder

    @PeakInTwoYears great article, aero is not only everything it’s the only thing, dam ugly tho’

    Had to quote the bike above because she’s blimmin’ loverly !! @azryder something looks a bit off with your saddle, maybe the angle of the shot?

  25. @piwakawaka

    @azryder

    @PeakInTwoYears great article, aero is not only everything it’s the only thing, dam ugly tho’

    Had to quote the bike above because she’s blimmin’ loverly !! @azryder something looks a bit off with your saddle, maybe the angle of the shot?

    Okay, yeah, I’ll have a go, then.  It’s a beautiful bike!  Rotate the bars a bit forward?

  26. yes to both issues. Just pulled it together. First time in the light of day in a long time. Will definetly make the adjustments.

  27. @Azryder

    yes to both issues. Just pulled it together. First time in the light of day in a long time. Will definetly make the adjustments.

    This is yours???  BEAUTIFUL!!!  I have a ’93 Team Motorola  Merckx but have always wanted a 7-Eleven one!  What year?  Groupo?  Details man, DETAILS!

  28. It is a 1989. 57cm Corsa. I bought the frame new in 1990.  It is Dura Ace. It has a Shimano 600 headset. It is what the dealer put in when they mailed it to me, And seems to have lasted thru time. It has DA hubs and Mavic Open Pro Rims. It was well ridden for 10 years. It always looked better with white bar tape, cables and saddle.

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