Author Archive | frank


Tubular Survival Kit

by / / 102 posts

There was never any question in my mind that tubulars are more romantic than clinchers, and as a Velominatus I was always convinced that the additional time and care that goes into gluing on a set of tires would make you feel just that much more connected to your bike and the history of the…

The Prophet goes by the numbers.

Three Points in Space

by / / 62 posts

Most great ideas in life are accompanied by an unforeseen consequence of equal or greater magnitude. For instance, no one predicted that the Industrial Revolution would pollute our air and set off climate change on a global scale. Similarly, no one realized that when placing unfathomable computing power in the palm of our hands in…

This kind of work is more for the body and soul than it is for the  road.

The Cleansing

by / / 39 posts

After a night of sinning, the body must be cleansed. -The Prophet, Eddy Merckx After a week away in Atlanta for business, I feel thick and heavy. These trips away are killers; the shift in time zones means the already-too long work day is extended by a further three hours. I try my best to watch my…

Merckx casts his hand to fate; He went on to win Stage 10 of the '70 Tour from Belfort and Divonne-les-Bains

The Unknown

by / / 36 posts

The future is dark, which is the best thing the future can be, I think.– Virginia Woolf Our actions lie on the horizon of the present, in that swirling cloud where fantasy turns into reality. To plan is to cast a shadow into the future, to attempt to lay shape to the unknown. As the…

The bicycle is still freedom.


by / / 34 posts

Choice, or the perception of it, is one of the most powerful forces on Earth. The great secret lies in the locus of control, which suggests that if given the perception of a choice we will be more willing to endure hardship or suffering. We’ll suffer even for the promise of a future intangible reward so long as we feel…

In memory of our lost friend, Jon Lennard aka @itburns.

Not Forgotten: Jon Lennard, aka @itburns

by / / 63 posts

I bought a Road ID the day I learned of Jon Lennard’s death on August 12, 2013. Someone in the posts of the original announcement of his passing (below) mentioned he was identified by his Road ID. Of course he had a Road ID. What I knew of him made that perfect. So responsible and…

Fire Road 900 above Winthrop Washington

The Will

by / / 47 posts

No technology can increase the energy of the willpower of the rider, nor can it lessen the doubts which sometimes overwhelm him. – Bernard Hinault As I swung off the main road, I was momentarily consumed by the simple thrill of my tires leaving the hard tarmac and hitting the rough gravel of the unpaved…


Look Pro: The Whale Shark

by / / 116 posts

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the…


Anatomy of a Photo: Bringing Back The Hour

by / / 37 posts

Brad Wiggins is sitting at home, watching his team implode at a Tour de France he was not invited to. What’s on his mind? An attempt at the Hour Record, that’s what. Now that the UCI has allowed riders to mount a conventional (track) time trial machine in their efforts and the likes of Boardman, Obree, Moser,…

Ian Stannard crushes gravel and pulls the mortals in his wake of Awesome. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta

White Lightning Shades

by / / 68 posts

I like definition, to place things in a box and tightly seal the lid. It makes me feel comfortable, like another of life’s little mysteries has been stored away for safe keeping. I also love ambiguity; it is the space wherein all interesting questions are asked; the unknown is life’s greatest beauty. You might say that makes…

Having a laugh. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta

La Vie Velominatus: Transcension

by / / 43 posts

When it comes to Rule Compliance, we have at our disposal three viable options. The first is to Obey the Rules. That one is pretty straight-forward because we wrote them down for you and also went to the great length of writing a book on the subject, partly as a public service to those suffering from insomnia. But…

The Prophet solos in the mountains wearing the Yellow Jersey.

Vive Le Tour

by / / 34 posts

Maybe it’s the narcissist in me or maybe I never really learned how to share properly, but I prefer my birthday over Christmas. My birthday is the one day of the year where everything is about me. No feigning interest in other people’s gifts, no getting distracted by any greater meaning. Just me and my loot,…

The irresistible Sa Calobra. Photo: @roadslave525.

Sur La Plaque, Part Trois: Monkey in the Middle

by / / 76 posts

Climbing is something I enjoy more than I am good at it; any time I see a new road pointing up to the heavens, I find myself irresistibly drawn to explore where it leads. Every season I come to the conclusion that my training routes are all very hilly and I arrive at the brilliant idea that…

Stay on your toes: you're in the bike lane now.

Urban Riding: The Sanctity of the Bike Lane

by / / 92 posts

There was a time when the world was painted in hues of black and white. Right and Wrong were separated by lines painted in such a thick, heavy paint that even to wander close was to already alter your very nature. The Elders taught us on which side we were to dwell and what evils would descend upon…


The Cycle of Style

by / / 254 posts

There are two ways in life to be good at something. The first way is the most obvious, which is to actually be good at something. This is harder than it sounds because you need things like skills, talent, fortitude, and light sabers. The other way doesn’t require those things but it has its own…

This isn't the height your looking for.

The Curse of Four Millimeters

by / / 119 posts

I don’t know how a guy who shows off the better part of a half meter of seat post comes to the conclusion that his saddle is too low, but that precise thought occupies an enormous amount of time. Ever closer looms the minimum insertion point on my seat pin, yet I am irrevocably bound to…

Bernard Thèvenet and The Prophet enroute to Pra Loup.

The Fire and the Moth

by / / 36 posts

In my journey through life, I’ve been struck by the near universal existence of the competitive spirit amongst people. Even people who claim not to be competitive in nature are seemingly competitive about how uncompetitive they are. I’m more uncompetitive than you. We find it everywhere, between old friends and perfect strangers alike; during official tournaments or…

Glossy shiny goodness thanks to Pedro's Bike Lust

Reverence: Pedro’s Bike Lust

by / / 71 posts

I met a nice character a few weeks ago on a magnificent ride through the Bay Area. He rode a Colnago C-50 which was so filthy that I was unable to ascertain with any degree of certainty what color it was painted. I spent most of the ride suppressing the impulse to lead him and his bike…

The European Posterior Tubular, tied on by a toe strap. This ain't no EPMS.

European Posterior Tubular (EPTB)

by / / 199 posts

The divisive nature of Rule #29 is not to be underestimated. It is but a humble satchel, but our rejection of its use sends people completely out of their minds. One fine gentleman even threatened my editor at Cyclist Magazine with cancellation of his subscription on the basis that they published an article wherein I espoused the virtues…


On Rule #59: Hold Your Line

by / / 118 posts

Anecdotal research suggests that people are being let off-leash without adequate training to perform basic activities such as walking on sidewalks or through airports and busy city centers. I’m assuming this expands to shopping malls, but I never go there so I can’t be sure. It’s easy to blame the mobile phones which apparently grow from our hands, but even…

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