La Vie Velominatus: Standing Grace
We are bipedal creatures. Fact. Bipedal locomotion sucks. Also a fact. This makes being a human somewhat challenging in the sense that we don’t have opposable…
Velominati Super Prestige
Browse the VSP archives →
Browse the VSP archives →
Defining Moments: Dust Caps
I genuinely miss the eighties. Funny Bikes, which I say without thinking this though. Then again, time trial bikes today are basically road bikes with a position…
La Vie Velominatus: Gun Envy
Three things define a Cyclist: their ability to crush fools, their ability to Look Fantastic, and the Magnificence of their Guns. If you are lacking in one,…
Something from Nothing
If the only kind of wind they have in Belgium is a headwind, then the only kind of flats they have in Northern France are false. In…
The Curse of Hell
Northern Europe is supposed to have crap weather in the Spring. By crap, of course, I mean wet. I call bullshit on that, because the…
Five Face
Why is it that all the greatest riders look strangely happy when they are suffering the most? Hinault says he still hasn’t regained the feeling…
On Rule #12: The Luxury of Passion
Rule #12 is a luxury of passion; the #1 for good weather and epic rides or races, the Nine Bike for bad weather, the Graveur…
The Past and the Future
I’m struggling with how to open this conversation without sounding like what I’m assuming my grandparents did when I was growing up. Maybe it’s because…
De Vlaamse Disco
I’m not a good dancer. I’ve come to this conclusion not through study but through ridicule and injury. Apparently it demands the ability to exhibit…
On Rule #43: Shaming the Sensei
I think it would be hard for anyone to make the case that Eddy Merckx was Roger de Vlaeminck’s Cycling Sensei, but I think we can all agree…
The Dark Side
White is a troublesome color; hard to keep clean. I have a white dress shirt that I never wear because even if I manage not…
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Look Pro
Les Maîtres de la Casquette
It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in this frame Looks Fantastic (most…
The Hum
One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything…
Anatomy Of A Photo: Mad Jacques, Pioneer Of Neutral Service
Whenever you see one of those yellow cars or motorcycles laden with spare wheels and manned by efficiently deliberate young professionals with no allegiance or favour…
The Hero and the Villain
I’m not saying I’m Batman; if I was Batman it would be a foolish thing to admit to and if I wasn’t Batman it would be a foolish…
Truth and Fiction
There is nothing more disappointing than discovering the truth behind a myth or spotting the mortal behind a legend. This is why I make a point never to…
Anatomy Of A Photo: Where Do We Go From Here?
A great unknown awaits the young men, bound by a common entity of steel, flesh and passion rolled together. Do they contemplate the future, or are…
The Hard Way
Doing things the hard way is a luxury. It says to the world that we’ve beat evolution; intelligence is no match for technology and economy is no…
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Kit
When Kits Were Cool
The modern day Pro cyclist has many disadvantages stacked against them by comparison to their forefathers. They have to ride plastic bikes with little or…
Guest Article: Joy Ride
I hesitate to file this in the Guest Article category. It would be better filed under fellow un-rewarded pirate cycling-site writer, if we had such…