I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Innovation is ugly, inelegant. By it’s very definition, it is carried out with almost a kind of contempt for The Rules. With no regard for aesthetics, it is a domain ventured into by the casually courageous and mentally frail. It comes in fits and starts,…
Category: The Rules
The question has been raised a number of times and the answer has always been vague: do the pros set The Rules, do they Obey them, or are they beyond them? As with everything philosophical, the answer is open to interpretation and difficult to identify. The Rules are about history, culture, etiquette, class, and style. That necessarily…
I posted this picture as a joke in yesterday’s Anatomy of a Photo piece, but I find myself going back to it over and over, captivated by the way the light gleams off the peloton as they race by. Gleaming metal bits – hubs, cranks, spokes, handlebars, stems, frames, toe clips, all reflecting light from a thousand…
Don’t be distracted by the sweatband or the lame Bolle sunglasses; this man is a stud. He came from a different time, a time when suffering was a more visceral experience than it is these days. It permeated everything a professional rider did. The bike were heavier, the equipment less efficient, the travel to races more grueling,…
The Velominati are proud to present the following guest article by our community member Steampunk, who splits his time between peppering the site with his insight and humor and riding in the sacred Velominati colors. Michael Barry is one of the great domestiques of the peloton; loyal, hardworking, a hardman, a true cycling aesthete –…
The Velominatus’ machine is their own manifestation of personal taste and demonstration of adherence to The Rules. We each, in our own way, meticulously maintain our bicycles and adorn them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. Yes, we must Obey the Rules pertaining to bar tape, tyre selection, saddle choice, stem height, color matching and…
I awoke Sunday morning to the sound of the driving rain on the windows, buffeted by gusts of wind. I got up, made myself a double espresso, and called to the dogs for their walk. Smackimus, the mutt who embodies Rule #5 in everything he does, came bounding down the stairs. Beene, the lummoxy Great Dane, followed…
Robots. Automatons. Modern professional cyclists. I am tempted to say these three terms are interchangeable, but I know that’s not right because a “robot” endeavors to convey the impression that it acts of it’s own intent, whereas automatons and professional cyclists are merely self-operating machines. It is difficult for a Velominatus to look at old cycling…
We gather here today to pay our respects to one of the icons of our great sport, the cycling cap. The perfect union of form and function and an excellent example of why the former follows the latter, and why together they are beautiful. The brim is just long enough to shield the eyes from the elements,…
I have to admit, until BigRingRiding bestowed upon us the honor of gracing their site with our humble image, I had never heard the term “Inhaling a Wasp” being used as a climbing tactic. My Great Aunt once swallowed a wasp; she was rather portly and since I think the wasp might have been in her…
With La Vuelta in full swing and the Worlds only weeks away, there are more than a few riders who will be feeling the effects of a long, hard season. Months of training, travelling and racing take a physical and mental toll that we, as mere mortals, can only begin to imagine. But without the…
As an ex-muso and DJ, I thought my days of rockin' out, layin' down some beats and droppin' tracks were well behind me. Then, last week I received a curious email from our esteemed community member, Geof. Curious, because he was now referring to himself as the “G'Phant”, and informed me that we (meaning him…
The Velominati would not exist if it weren’t for The Rules. Of the current 79 Rules, only two, Rule #34 and Rule #69 stipulate anything about shoes. Perhaps that is all that is needed. However, I do have a set of personal Rules that I’ve been living by and developing for nearly ten years now….
It’s a good question, this: who in their right mind would willfully hurt themselves doing something they “enjoy”? I’m guessing psychologists have a word for this type of behavior, and I’m not afraid to assume it’s not a flattering one. Indeed, we are all of us completely nuts. When I’m not filing TPS Reports, it’s my job to help…
First and foremost, as a cyclist and a devoted fan of this sport – a Velominatus, no less, – I express my deepest sympathies to the riders who crashed in Stage 2 of the Tour de France. Blame was cast around, but as pointed out by Ben, there were many months of opportunity for the riders to…
There has been unprecedented and unexpected interest and discussion on this blog since the first mention of ‘The Rules’. From that very first post, a name that has been oft-mentioned is that of the mysterious Johnny Klink. A good mate of mine since the late 90s when we first met in some random shop, we…
Summer has been really slow to come to Seattle this year. I suppose that’s what comes with living in a coastal region, especially one with a convergence zone like Puget Sound has. As summer approaches, so does the Marine layer. Marine layers are actually a good thing for the world and serve an important purpose. Particularly if you happen…
Each of us remembers how they became a Velominatus. For me, it was at Grimpeur Wielersport, in Zevenaar, The Netherlands. Its the perfect place: a small shop, on a small street, in a small town, in a small country, run by a Giant of the Sport, Herman van Meegen. I haven’t been back in years,…
This photographer knew the picture that people would remember and that would shine a light into Sean Kelly’s character wasn’t of his face; the story is all below. These are legs only a cyclist could love. In 1988 these legs won Paris-Nice for the seventh time, Gent-Wevelgem and his only Grand Tour Victory, the Vuelta…
As you know, the first shipment of the Velominati kit arrived last week and the reception has been universally enthusiastic by the recipients (with the exception of Brett, who loves the look but is at least two months from peaking and too fat to climb). Some of the most well-received details are the orange DutchMonkey cuffs on the sleeves…