I think the last time I cheered for the guy who won the Tour de France must have been Greg LeMond in 1990. Although he would later become one of my favorite riders ever, I didn’t cheer for Jan Ullrich in 1997 because wasn’t cool enough yet. I didn’t cheer for another eternal favorite, Marco…
Author: frank
The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking.
As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it.
Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen.
Email him directly at [email protected].
There are those who are challenged to find the value of aesthetics in a sport which requires eating 11T cogs buttered with chain oil for breakfast and drinking kegs of Rule #5 at dinner. Ye of the Congoscenti, I present you with the following photos of some of the quintessential hardmen of our sport who…
Of all people, a Velominatus knows that our sport is a civilized one; it is steeped in tradition and etiquette and rife with unwritten rules. High on the list of unwritten rules are those that outline acceptable behavior when various hardships befall the leader of a Grand Tour. One of the reasons such rules exist is…
One of the most cherished bits in my toolbox are the four rolls of 3M Electrical Tape: red, green, white, and black. In the past, I've used off-brands, but those appear to use an adhesive that leaves a gooey residue and the tape itself seems to shrink (especially in heat) as it sits in it's…
Those who complete the Tour de France are referred to as The Giants of the Road, and a look back at the first week of the Tour doesn’t leave much room for wondering why. With barely ten stages behind us, we’ve seen some amazing battles. We’ve seen Pharmstrong take a small psychological win over Contodor in the opening Prologue….
I’m not sure if it’s because I’m too fat to climb and therefore admire those who aren’t, or if it has something to do with the masochistic nature of sprinting to the top of every hill during a three-week race, but the competition for the best climber in the Tour de France has long captured my imagination….
There was a time when shifting was an art. Friction down-tube shifters required a finess and a light touch of the fingers; a slight overshift to pop the chain onto the cog, and then ease the shifter forward to rest the chain perfectly in its place. Over time, and with the advancement of technology, the…
First and foremost, as a cyclist and a devoted fan of this sport – a Velominatus, no less, – I express my deepest sympathies to the riders who crashed in Stage 2 of the Tour de France. Blame was cast around, but as pointed out by Ben, there were many months of opportunity for the riders to…
Baxter Aftershave is one of the most important cremes I have in my arsenal, aside from the testosterone rub, the alcohol swabs I use before injecting my EPO, and Butt Butter or whatever my chamois creme is called. At $15 a pop, it’s not particularly cheap, but the addition of moisturizers and antiseptic keep irritation at…
The Rules are a living thing; a set of truths that have been captured but which do not represent a comprehensive record. They speak to whole larger than any of us and thus will never be complete. Indeed, we will always need to read between the lines of – to feel – The Rules in our pursuit…
Summer has been really slow to come to Seattle this year. I suppose that’s what comes with living in a coastal region, especially one with a convergence zone like Puget Sound has. As summer approaches, so does the Marine layer. Marine layers are actually a good thing for the world and serve an important purpose. Particularly if you happen…
I was raised in St. Paul, Minnesota at a time when the only cycling fame the area could lay claim to was that Greg LeMan lived in the area during the winters (I crossed paths with him many times skiing on the Birkebeiner trail, which was always pretty cool). As far as professional bike racing…
I’m the first to admit that we are probably over doing it on the Velominati Kit article thing. That being said, I simply have to put one more out there, which will double more-or-less as a product review. I previously wrote a piece on Radars and Jawbones wherein I asserted that Oakley Radars are the…
Each of us remembers how they became a Velominatus. For me, it was at Grimpeur Wielersport, in Zevenaar, The Netherlands. Its the perfect place: a small shop, on a small street, in a small town, in a small country, run by a Giant of the Sport, Herman van Meegen. I haven’t been back in years,…
As you know, the first shipment of the Velominati kit arrived last week and the reception has been universally enthusiastic by the recipients (with the exception of Brett, who loves the look but is at least two months from peaking and too fat to climb). Some of the most well-received details are the orange DutchMonkey cuffs on the sleeves…
I for one, would love to have a clean sport, but simply don’t think it’s possible to get there. That said, it can certainly be cleaner than it is, and I welcome any progress we make in that direction. All the same, I also can’t bear the thought of the racing being any less exciting…
What motivates a Velominatus? It seems a simple question, but the answer is complicated and gets into various issues that are neither interesting nor compelling. For me, cycling has been a life-long obsession. I enjoy any kind of riding. I enjoy technical, single-track mountain biking, I enjoy riding on dirt roads or wide trails. I…
I thought I was the only one. It was a truth I admitted to myself only in the darkest hours of the night, when you lie awake and are faced by those haunting thoughts that are otherwise whisked away before they float to the surface. But now, I can say it: I am afraid of crashing. Especially…
As enthusiasm for The Rules has been growing, we’ve been having a lot of fun watching the conversation take shape and go in directions we didn’t necessarily expect it to. You have the Geof’s and the Jarvis’s who defend them honorably and even compare cycling to a religion. Fittingly, you then also have the Opus…
While walking about town, one of my favorite things to do is to puruse the commuter bikes locked up outside stores and study some of the gems being ridden around. Sometimes, I come across a really special bike, and marvel at the notion that the bike’s owner might not have any idea what piece of…